《Twilight 暮光之城Ⅰ——暮色》 （中英文对照·完结）

阿汤哥

第二十一章 电话

当我醒来的时候，我发觉时间还太早。我知道自己正在慢慢地颠倒着昼夜的作息时间。我躺在床上，听着爱丽丝和贾斯帕在另一间屋子里安静的说话声。他们的说话声居然大到我能听见的程度，这点很奇怪。我翻滚着身子，直到自己的脚落到地板上，然后步履蹒跚地走到起居室里。

电视机上的时钟显示着现在是凌晨两点。爱丽丝和贾斯帕一起坐在沙发上，爱丽丝又开始画速写了，而贾斯帕正越过她的肩膀看着。当我进屋的时候，他们没有抬头，只是全神贯注地看着爱丽丝的作品。

我挪动步子，走到贾斯帕身旁窥视着。

“她又看见了别的东西？”我安静地问他。

“是的。出于某种原因，他带着那盘录像带回到了那个房间，但那个房间现在亮起来了。”

我看着爱丽丝画出一个方形的房间，暗色的横梁在低矮的天花板上交错着。墙上嵌着木板，嵌板的颜色有点发黑，样式很过时了。地板上铺着一块暗色调的地毯，上面只有一个图案。南面的墙上有一扇大大的窗，西面的墙被打通了，一直通向起居室。那个入口的一侧是石砌的——那是一个巨大的棕褐色的壁炉，同时通向两个房间。就这个视角而言，这个房间的焦点是摆在屋子西南角那张太小的木架子上的，那台电视和录像机。一套有些年头的组合沙发环绕在电视机前，一张圆咖啡桌摆在沙发组前。

“电话在这里。”我用指尖点着，低声说道。

两双永恒的眼睛盯着我。

“这是我妈妈的房子。”

===========================

21. PHONE CALL

I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting
the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my bed and
listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That
they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my
feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.

The clock on the TV said it was just after two in the morning. Alice and
Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while
Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't look up when I entered, too
engrossed in Alice's work.

I crept to Jasper's side to peek.

"Did she see something more?" I asked him quietly.

"Yes. Something's brought him back to the room with the VCR, but it's
light now."

I watched as Alice drew a square room with dark beams across its low
ceiling. The walls were paneled in wood, a little too dark, out of date.
The floor had a dark carpet with a pattern in it. There was a large
window against the south wall, and an opening through the west wall led
to the living room. One side of that entrance was stone — a large tan
stone fireplace that was open to both rooms. The focus of the room from
this perspective, the TV and VCR, balanced on a too-small wooden stand,
were in the southwest corner of the room. An aged sectional sofa curved
around in front of the TV, a round coffee table in front of it.

"The phone goes there," I whispered, pointing.

Two pairs of eternal eyes stared at me.

"That's my mother's house."

阿汤哥

爱丽丝早已从沙发上跳起来，手里抓着手机，开始拨号。我盯着对我妈妈家的房间的精准无比的素描。贾斯帕一反常态地滑到我身旁更近的地方。他轻轻地把手放到我鉴赏，而这实际上的接触似乎把他的冷静更加强烈地输送到我身上。恐惧漫无目的地凝聚在原处。

爱丽丝的嘴唇颤抖着，飞快地说着话，我根本听不懂那低低的嗡嗡声。我没法集中注意力。

“贝拉。”爱丽丝说道。我木然地看着她。

“贝拉，爱德华会来接你。他和艾美特还有卡莱尔会来带你去某个地方，让你躲上一阵子。”

“爱德华要来？”这句话像一件救生衣，把我的脑子从滚滚洪流里拉了出来。

“是的，他将搭乘从西雅图起飞的第一班机。我们会在机场和他碰面，然后你跟他走。”

“可是，我妈妈……他来这里找我妈妈，爱丽丝！”尽管有贾斯帕在，我的声音依然因为竭斯底里而崩溃着。

“贾斯帕和我会留在这里，直到她安全无虞为止。”

“我逃不掉的，爱丽丝。你们不可能一直守卫着我认识的每一个人。你看不出来他在做什么吗？他根本没在跟踪我。他会找到某个人，他会伤害我爱着的某个人……爱丽丝，我不能——”

“我们会看着他的，贝拉。”她向我保证道。

“万一你受伤了呢，爱丽丝？你以为这对我来说不痛不痒吗？你以为他只能通过伤害我的人类家庭来打击我吗？”

=====================

Alice was already off the couch, phone in hand, dialing. I stared at the
precise rendering of my mother's family room. Uncharacteristically,
Jasper slid closer to me. He lightly touched his hand to my shoulder, and
the physical contact seemed to make his calming influence stronger. The
panic stayed dull, unfocused.

Alice's lips were trembling with the speed of her words, the low buzzing
impossible to decipher. I couldn't concentrate.

"Bella," Alice said. I looked at her numbly.

"Bella, Edward is coming to get you. He and Emmett and Carlisle are going
to take you somewhere, to hide you for a while."

"Edward is coming?" The words were like a life vest, holding my head
above the flood.

"Yes, he's catching the first flight out of Seattle. We'll meet him at
the airport, and you'll leave with him."

"But, my mother… he came here for my mother, Alice!" Despite Jasper, the
hysteria bubbled up in my voice.

"Jasper and I will stay till she's safe."

"I can't win, Alice. You can't guard everyone I know forever. Don't you
see what he's doing? He's not tracking me at all. He'll find someone,
he'll hurt someone I love… Alice, I can't —"

"We'll catch him, Bella," she assured me.

"And what if you get hurt, Alice? Do you think that's okay with me? Do
you think it's only my human family he can hurt me with?"

阿汤哥

爱丽丝意味深长地看着贾斯帕。一阵强烈的，沉重的，令人昏昏欲睡的迷雾席卷了我，我的眼睛在未经我许可的情况下合上了。我的意识竭力抵御着那阵迷雾，意识到发生了什么事。我强迫自己睁开眼睛，站起来，挣脱贾斯帕的手走到一旁。

“我不想继续睡。”我嚷嚷道。

我走回房间，用力关上门。我是真的砰地一声把门撞上的，这样我就能随意行事，保留仅有的一点隐私。这次爱丽丝没有跟着我进来。在之后的三个半小时里，我盯着墙壁，蜷成一个球，滚来滚去。我的脑子反反复复地思索着，试图想出一些办法来结束这个梦魇。但我根本无法逃离，也无法拖延。我所能看见的未来，有且只有一个正阴森森地逼近的结局。唯一的问题是，在我走到这个结局以前，有多少别的人会受到伤害。

我所拥有的唯一的安慰和唯一的希望是，我知道很快我就能看到爱德华了。也许，只要我再次看到他的脸，我就能够想出那个现在正遍寻不见的答案。

当电话响起来的时候，我回到了前面的屋子，动作里有着一丝羞愧。我希望我没有冒犯他们两个，我希望他们知道，我对他们为了我所做出的牺牲是多么的感激。

和往常一样，是爱丽丝接的电话，但引起我注意的是，贾斯帕头一次没在房间里。我看了看钟——现在是早上五点半。

“他们刚刚登机。”爱丽丝告诉我。“他们会在九点四十五分降落。”还得再强迫自己保持呼吸几个小时，才能等到他。

“贾斯帕在哪里？”

“他去退房。”

“你们不是要待在这里吗？”

“不，我们要搬到离你妈妈的房子更近的地方。”

===============================

Alice looked meaningfully at Jasper. A deep, heavy fog of lethargy washed
over me, and my eyes closed without my permission. My mind struggled
against the fog, realizing what was happening. I forced my eyes open and
stood up, stepping away from Jasper's hand.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," I snapped.

I walked to my room and shut the door, slammed it really, so I could be
free to go to pieces privately. This time Alice didn't follow me. For
three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking.
My mind went around in circles, trying to come up with some way out of
this nightmare. There was no escape, no reprieve. I could see only one
possible end looming darkly in my future. The only question was how many
other people would be hurt before I reached it.

The only solace, the only hope I had left, was knowing that I would see
Edward soon. Maybe, if I could just see his face again, I would also be
able to see the solution that eluded me now.

When the phone rang, I returned to the front room, a little ashamed of my
behavior. I hoped I hadn't offended either of them, that they would know
how grateful I was for the sacrifices they were making on my account.

Alice was talking as rapidly as ever, but what caught my attention was
that, for the first time, Jasper was not in the room. I looked at the
clock — it was five-thirty in the morning.

"They're just boarding their plane," Alice told me. "They'll land at
nine-forty-five." Just a few more hours to keep breathing till he was
here.

"Where's Jasper?"

"He went to check out."

"You aren't staying here?"

"No, we're relocating closer to your mother's house."

阿汤哥

我的胃因为她的话而不自在地扭曲起来。

但电话再次响起，分散了我的注意力。她看上去很惊讶，但我已经走向前去，满怀希望地向电话伸出手去。

“你好？”爱丽丝问道。“不，她就在这里。”她把电话递给我。你妈妈，她用唇语说道。

“你好？”

“贝拉？贝拉？”是我妈妈的声音，用着我童年时听过一千遍的熟悉的语气说着。每当我离人行道的边缘太近，或者在拥挤的地方脱离了她的视线时，她都会这样喊着我。那是一种充满恐惧的声音。

我叹了口气。我早就料到了，虽然我在留言时，已经在不降低紧迫感的同时尽可能地让自己的声音显得不那么惊惶。

“冷静点，妈妈。”我用最令人宽慰的语气说着，慢慢地从爱丽丝身旁走开。我不确定自己能否在她的监视下说出令人信服的谎言。“一切都很好，不是吗？只要给我一分钟，我就能解释清楚所有的事情，我保证。”

我停顿了片刻，惊讶地发现她至今都没有打断我的话。

“妈妈？”

“当心点，在我让你说话以前，别出声。”我听到了一个陌生的，出乎意料的声音。那是一个高亢的男声，一个非常亲切，毫无特色的声音——就是那种你会在豪华汽车广告里听到的声音。他说得非常快。
=================================

My stomach twisted uneasily at her words.

But the phone rang again, distracting me. She looked surprised, but I was
already walking forward, reaching hopefully for the phone.

"Hello?" Alice asked. "No, she's right here." She held the phone out to
me. Your mother, she mouthed.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Bella?" It was my mother's voice, in a familiar tone I had heard
a thousand times in my childhood, anytime I'd gotten too close to the
edge of the sidewalk or strayed out of her sight in a crowded place. It
was the sound of panic.

I sighed. I'd been expecting this, though I'd tried to make my message as
unalarming as possible without lessening the urgency of it.

"Calm down, Mom," I said in my most soothing voice, walking slowly away
from Alice. I wasn't sure if I could lie as convincingly with her eyes on
me. "Everything is fine, okay? Just give me a minute and I'll explain
everything, I promise."

I paused, surprised that she hadn't interrupted me yet.

"Mom?"

"Be very careful not to say anything until I tell you to." The voice I
heard now was as unfamiliar as it was unexpected. It was a man's tenor
voice, a very pleasant, generic voice — the kind of voice that you heard
in the background of luxury car commercials. He spoke very quickly.

阿汤哥

“现在，我不必伤害你妈妈了。我真高兴我能像自己所说的那样确实做到这一点，她没事。”他停顿了一分钟，而我惊骇地听着这一片沉寂。“非常好，”他祝贺道。“现在，重复我说电话，尽量让自己听起来正常些。请说，‘不，妈妈，待在那里。’”

“不，妈妈，待在那里。”我的声音只比耳语大声一点。

“我看得出，这会很困难。”那声音充满了戏谑的意味，依然既轻柔又友好。“现在你为什么不走到另一间屋子里，好让自己的表情不泄露任何秘密呢？没有理由让你妈妈承受这一切。你走动的时候，请说‘妈妈，请听我说。’现在就说。”

“妈妈，请听我说。”我的声音恳求着。我很慢很慢地向卧室走去，我能感觉到爱丽丝正用忧虑的眼神注视着我的背。我关上身后的门，试图赶在恐惧控制我的头脑以前仔细地把事情考虑一遍。

“现在，你是一个人了吗？请说是或者不是。”
“是的。”

“但他们还是能听见你说话，我敢肯定。”

“是的。”

“那么，好吧。”那个惬意的声音继续说道。“说，‘妈妈，相信我。’”

“妈妈，相信我。”

“这比我预料中的更管用。我正准备等着，你妈妈却提前回来了。这样就更容易了，不是吗？对你来说，悬而未决的事情变少了，需要担心的事情也更少了。”

我在等着。

=======================

"Now, I don't need to hurt your mother, so please do exactly as I say,
and she'll be fine." He paused for a minute while I listened in mute
horror. "That's very good," he congratulated. "Now repeat after me, and
do try to sound natural. Please say, 'No, Mom, stay where you are.'"

"No, Mom, stay where you are." My voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I can see this is going to be difficult." The voice was amused, still
light and friendly. "Why don't you walk into another room now so your
face doesn't ruin everything? There's no reason for your mother to
suffer. As you're walking, please say, 'Mom, please listen to me.' Say it
now."

"Mom, please listen to me," my voice pleaded. I walked very slowly to the
bedroom, feeling Alice's worried stare on my back. I shut the door behind
me, trying to think clearly through the terror that gripped my brain.

"There now, are you alone? Just answer yes or no."

"Yes."

"But they can still hear you, I'm sure."

"Yes."

"All right, then," the agreeable voice continued, "say, 'Mom, trust me.'"

"Mom, trust me."

"This worked out rather better than I expected. I was prepared to wait,
but your mother arrived ahead of schedule. It's easier this way, isn't
it? Less suspense, less anxiety for you."

I waited.

阿汤哥

“现在，我要你仔细听着。我要你离开你的朋友，你觉得你能做到吗？回答我是或者不。”

“不。”

“听到这话我很抱歉。我本来希望你能比这样更有创意写。如果你母亲的性命维系于此，你觉得你能摆脱你的朋友吗？回答是或者不。”

无论如何，我得想出一个办法来。我想起来了，我们要去机场。天空港国际航空港：拥挤，地形复杂……
“是的。”

“这就好多了。我肯定这不容易，但如果我捕捉到任何你有人陪伴的蛛丝马迹，那么，对你母亲来说，这将是一件非常可怕的事，”那个友好的声音保证道。“事到如今，你一定对我们有足够的了解，你一定明白，一旦你试图带任何人和你一起来，我会在多短的时间内知道。而万一发生了这种情况，我只需要花一丁点时间就能解决掉你母亲。你明白吗？回答我，是或者不是。”

“是的。”我的声音有些破碎。

“很好，贝拉。以下是你要做的事。我要你去你母亲的家。在电话机旁会留有一个电话号码。打那个号码，我会告诉你从那里出发去哪里。”我已经知道我要去的那个地方，那个将结束这一切的地方。但我会严格遵循他的指示。“你能做到吗？答是或不是。”

“是。”

“请在中午前到达，贝拉。我没有一整天的时间。”他礼貌地说道。

“菲尔在哪里？”我简洁地问道。

“啊，现在给我当心点，贝拉。你得等到我让你说话时才能说话，拜托。”

==========================

"Now I want you to listen very carefully. I'm going to need you to get
away from your friends; do you think you can do that? Answer yes or no."

"No."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping you would be a little more creative
than that. Do you think you could get away from them if your mother's
life depended on it? Answer yes or no."

Somehow, there had to be a way. I remembered that we were going to the
airport. Sky Harbor International Airport: crowded, confusingly laid out…

"Yes."

"That's better. I'm sure it won't be easy, but if I get the slightest

hint that you have any company, well, that would be very bad for your
mother," the friendly voice promised. "You must know enough about us by
now to realize how quickly I would know if you tried to bring anyone
along with you. And how little time I would need to deal with your mother
if that was the case. Do you understand? Answer yes or no."

"Yes." My voice broke.

"Very good, Bella. Now this is what you have to do. I want you to go to
your mother's house. Next to the phone there will be a number. Call it,
and I'll tell you where to go from there." I already knew where I would
go, and where this would end. But I would follow his instructions
exactly. "Can you do that? Answer yes or no."

"Yes."

"Before noon, please, Bella. I haven't got all day," he said politely.

"Where's Phil?" I asked tersely.

"Ah, be careful now, Bella. Wait until I ask you to speak, please."

阿汤哥

我等待着。

“这很重要，现在，当你回到你的朋友身边时，确保他们不会生疑。告诉他们是你母亲打来的，你告诉她你会迟点到家。现在跟着我说。‘谢谢，妈妈。’现在，说。”

“谢谢，妈妈。”眼泪就要掉下来了。我努力把它们忍住。

“说，‘我爱你，妈妈，我们很快会再见的。’现在，说。”

“我爱你，妈妈。”我的声音有些沉闷。“我们很快会再见的。”我保证道。
“再见，贝拉，我等不及要再次见到你了。”他挂上了电话。

我依然把电话扣在耳上。我的关节因为恐惧而僵住了——我没法松开手指把电话放下来。

我知道我得开始思考，但我的脑子里依然充斥着我妈妈恐惧的声音。时间一分一秒地过去，我挣扎着想要控制住自己。

渐渐地，渐渐地，我的思绪开始挣扎着穿透了那堵厚厚的痛苦之墙。开始盘算着。现在，我别无选择，只剩下一条路：去那间满是镜子的房间，接受死亡。我没有得到任何保证，没有任何迹象表明我能保证我母亲活着。我只能希望，詹姆斯会对赢得这场游戏深感满意，击败爱德华能让他得到足够的满足感。绝望扼住了我。根本没有任何讨价还价的余地。我根本没有任何条件或者抵押品可以影响他。但我依然别无选择。我得放手一搏。

我尽可能地压抑住恐惧。我已经做出了决定。再浪费时间为那样的结局而痛苦就没有意义了。我得好好想想，因为爱丽丝和贾斯帕正等着我，因为躲开他们是完全不可能的，也是完全必要的。

===================

I waited.

"It's important, now, that you don't make your friends suspicious when
you go back to them. Tell them that your mother called, and that you
talked her out of coming home for the time being. Now repeat after me,
'Thank you, Mom.' Say it now."

"Thank you, Mom." The tears were coming. I tried to fight them back.

"Say, 'I love you, Mom, I'll see you soon.' Say it now."

"I love you, Mom." My voice was thick. "I'll see you soon," I promised.

"Goodbye, Bella. I look forward to seeing you again." He hung up.

I held the phone to my ear. My joints were frozen with terror — I
couldn't unbend my fingers to drop it.

I knew I had to think, but my head was filled with the sound of my
mother's panic. Seconds ticked by while I fought for control.

Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of
pain. To plan. For I had no choices now but one: to go to the mirrored
room and die. I had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep my mother
alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the
game, that beating Edward would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was
no way to bargain, nothing I could offer or withhold that could influence
him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.

I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did
no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly,
because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was
absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.

阿汤哥

我忽然感到一阵欣慰，幸好贾斯帕不在。如果他在这里，他一定会感觉到过去的五分钟里，我所感受到的痛苦，那我还可能不让他们产生怀疑吗？我咽下自己的恐惧和不安，努力压制住自己的情绪。我现在还没法做到这一点。我不知道他什么时候会回来。
我全神贯注地思考着脱身之计。我只能寄希望于我对机场的熟悉能够增加一点我的胜算。不管怎样，我得先让爱丽丝离开……

我知道爱丽丝正在另一个房间里满心好奇地等着我。但在贾斯帕回来以前，我得在私下里处理另一件事。

我必须接受这一点：我再也见不到爱德华了。甚至来不及再看他的脸一眼，我就得去那间满是镜子的屋子。我会让他很受伤的，而且我不能跟他道别。有一阵子，我任由那阵痛楚肆无忌惮地席卷了我。随后，我同样把这痛楚推到一旁，去面对爱丽丝。

我千方百计才控制住的唯一一个表情是一张呆滞的，死气沉沉的脸。我看到了她警惕的神情，但我等不及她发问。我只有一个剧本，而我还没尝试过临场发挥。

“我妈妈很担心，她想赶回家。但已经没事了，我说服了她，让她留在那边。”我的声音毫无生气。

“我们会确保她没事的，贝拉，别担心。”

我把头转向一旁。我不能让她看到我的表情。

我的目光落到桌子上那叠宾馆信纸最上面的一页白纸。我慢慢地走过去，一个计划在我脑海里成形了。同样，一封信的腹稿也成形了。好极了。

“爱丽丝，”我慢吞吞地说道，没有回头，依然让自己的声音波澜不兴。“如果我给我妈妈写封信，你能把信给她吗？我是说，把它留在屋子里。”

“当然，贝拉。”她的声音显得很谨慎。她看到出我在细微之处的破绽。我得更好地控制住自己的情绪。

==============================

I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel
my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from
being suspicious? I choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle
it. I couldn't afford it now. I didn't know when he would return.

I concentrated on my escape. I had to hope that my familiarity with the
airport would turn the odds in my favor. Somehow, I had to keep Alice
away…

I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to
deal with one more thing in private, before Jasper was back.

I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last
glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to
hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye. I let the waves of torture wash
over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and
went to face Alice.

The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm
and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never
manage improvisation now.

"My mom was worried, she wanted to come home. But it's okay, I convinced
her to stay away." My voice was lifeless.

"We'll make sure she's fine, Bella, don't worry."

I turned away; I couldn't let her see my face.

My eye fell on a blank page of the hotel stationery on the desk. I went
to it slowly, a plan forming. There was an envelope there, too. That was
good.

"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I
write a letter for my mother, would you give it to her? Leave it at the
house, I mean."

"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at
the seams. I had to keep my emotions under better control.

阿汤哥

我又走回了卧室，跪在那张小小的床头几前，开始写信。

“爱德华，”我写道。我的手在颤抖，笔下的那些字母简直难以让人辨认。

“我爱你。对不起。他抓住了我母亲，我只能放手一搏。我知道这可能没用。我非常，非常地抱歉。

别生爱丽丝和贾斯帕的气。如果我能从他们身旁逃开，这绝对是个奇迹。替我感谢他们。尤其是爱丽丝。求你了。

还有，千万，千万，不要跟着他。这正是他想要的。我是这样认为的。我再也承受不了有任何人因为我而受到伤害了，尤其是你。求你了，这是我现在唯一能向你要求的事。就当是为了我。

我爱你。原谅我。

贝拉。”
我小心地折起那封信，然后把它塞进信封里。他终有一日会发现的。我只希望他能理解，并且能听我的话，哪怕就这一次。

然后我也小心地密封住了自己的心情。
=========================

I went into the bedroom again, and knelt next to the little bedside table
to write.

"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.



I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it
may not work. I am so very, very sorry.

Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be
a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.

And please, please, don't come after him. That's what he wants. I think.
I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you.
Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.

I love you. Forgive me.

Bella

I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope. Eventually
he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just
this once.

And then I carefully sealed away my heart.

阿汤哥

第二十二章 躲猫猫

做到这一点所花的时间比我认为的还要短——所有的恐惧和绝望，还有我破碎的心。时间一分一秒地过去，流淌得比平时还蛮。当我

回到爱丽丝那里时，贾斯帕还没回来。我很怕和她待在同一个房间里，生怕她会猜到……也害怕着，需要因为同样的理由而隐瞒她。

我本以为自己已经没有余力去感到惊讶里，因为我的心一直忐忑不安，已经饱受折磨。但当我看到爱丽丝伏在桌子上，两手紧紧地抓

着桌子边缘时，我依然吃了一惊。

“爱丽丝？”

我喊她的名字，她没有反应，但她的头慢慢地转了过来，我看见了她的脸。她的脸色很苍白，脸上一片迷茫……我立刻想到了我母亲

。已经太迟了吗？

我飞快地冲到她身旁，本能地伸出手想拉着她的手。

“爱丽丝！”贾斯帕的声音听起来像是被鞭子抽了一样。然后，他立刻出现在了她身后，他的手交缠在她的手上，把它们从桌子上掰

开。房间的另一头，房门啪地一声轻轻关上了。

“怎么回事？”他询问道。

她把脸埋到他胸口，不再看我。“贝拉。”她说道。

“我在这里。”我答道。

她的头转了过来，她的目光锁住了我的眼睛，眼里依然是一副诡异的空白的神情。我立刻意识到，她不是在叫我，她是在回答贾斯帕

的问题。

“你看见了什么？”我说道——但我波澜不兴，漠不关心的声音里没有半点疑问。

============================

22. HIDE-AND-SEEK

It had taken much less time than I'd thought — all the terror, the
despair, the shattering of my heart. The minutes were ticking by more
slowly than usual. Jasper still hadn't come back when I returned to
Alice. I was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that she
would guess… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.

I would have thought I was far beyond the ability to be surprised, my
thoughts tortured and unstable, but I was surprised when I saw Alice bent
over the desk, gripping the edge with two hands.

"Alice?"

She didn't react when I called her name, but her head was slowly rocking
side to side, and I saw her face. Her eyes were blank, dazed… My thoughts
flew to my mother. Was I already too late?

I hurried to her side, reaching out automatically to touch her hand.

"Alice!" Jasper's voice whipped, and then he was right behind her, his
hands curling over hers, loosening them from their grip on the table.
Across the room, the door swung shut with a low click.

"What is it?" he demanded.

She turned her face away from me, into his chest. "Bella," she said.

"I'm right here," I replied.

Her head twisted around, her eyes locking on mine, their expression still
strangely blank. I realized at once that she hadn't been speaking to me,
she'd been answering Jasper's question.

"What did you see?" I said — and there was no question in my flat,
uncaring voice.

阿汤哥

贾斯帕狠狠地看着我。我让自己面无表情，等待着。他的目光轮流扫过在爱丽丝和我的脸，眼里写满了困惑……我猜到了爱丽丝看到

的东西。

我感到一阵宁静笼罩着我。我对这宁静很是欢迎，利用它来控制自己的情绪，让自己的思绪有条不紊。
爱丽丝也恢复了过来。

“没事，真的。”她最终答道，她的声音异常地平静，令人信服。“跟之前的那间房间一样。”

她终于看向我，她的神情既平静又孤僻。“你想吃早餐了吗？”

“不，我会在机场吃早餐。”我也很平静。我走进浴室，去洗个澡。简直像是我借用了贾斯帕的特异感觉一样，我能感觉到爱丽丝强

烈的——尽管她掩饰得很好——绝望地想让我离开这间屋子，让她和贾斯帕独处的情绪。这样她就能告诉他他们做错了某件事，他们

注定要失败……

我有条不紊地做着准备，全神贯注地做好每一件琐事。我把头发放下来，披散在肩上，遮盖住自己的脸。贾斯帕所营造的安宁的气氛

很有用，它能帮助我条理清晰地思考着。也有助于我的计划。我在书包里翻找着，挖出了我那只装满了钱的袜子。我把它倒空，把钱

全部塞进了我的钱包里。

我迫不及待地想要到机场去，当我们在七点整出发的时候，我深感欣慰。这一次我独自坐在那辆黑色的轿车后排。爱丽丝倚在门上，

她的脸朝着贾斯帕，但是，在她的太阳眼镜之下，她的眼睛每隔几秒就会向我的方向瞥一眼。

“爱丽丝？”我漠不关心地问道。

她很警惕。“嗯？”

===========================

Jasper looked at me sharply. I kept my expression vacant and waited. His
eyes were confused as they flickered swiftly between Alice's face and
mine, feeling the chaos… for I could guess what Alice had seen now.

I felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around me. I welcomed it, using it to
keep my emotions disciplined, under control.

Alice, too, recovered herself.

"Nothing, really," she answered finally, her voice remarkably calm and
convincing. "Just the same room as before."

She finally looked at me, her expression smooth and withdrawn. "Did you
want breakfast?"

"No, I'll eat at the airport." I was very calm, too. I went to the
bathroom to shower. Almost as if I were borrowing Jasper's strange extra
sense, I could feel Alice's wild — though well-concealed — desperation to
have me out of the room, to be alone with Jasper. So she could tell him
that they were doing something wrong, that they were going to fail…

I got ready methodically, concentrating on each little task. I left my
hair down, swirling around me, covering my face. The peaceful mood Jasper
created worked its way through me and helped me think clearly. Helped me
plan. I dug through my bag until I found my sock full of money. I emptied
it into my pocket.

I was anxious to get to the airport, and glad when we left by seven. I
sat alone this time in the back of the dark car. Alice leaned against the
door, her face toward Jasper but, behind her sunglasses, shooting glances
in my direction every few seconds.

"Alice?" I asked indifferently.

She was wary. "Yes?"

阿汤哥

“这是怎么做到的？你是怎么看见事物的呢？”我看向另一侧的窗外，我的声音听起来兴趣索然。“爱德华说过这不是很准确……事

情会改变吗？”说出他的名字比我想过的还要困难。这一定让贾斯帕警惕起来，于是，一阵新鲜的清朗之气涤荡在车内。
“是的，事情会改变……”她喃喃低语着，我觉得，她似乎又燃起了希望。“有些事情会预测更准确些……比方说天气。但人们是很

难预测的。我只能在他们开始前进时看到他们前进的方向。一旦他们改变了主意——做出一个新的决定，不管那决定有多么微小——

整个未来就会改变了。”

我若有所思地点了点头。“所以你一直看不到詹姆斯在凤凰城，直到他决定来这里为止。”

“是的。”她赞同道，又警惕起来。

所以，在我决定去那里见詹姆斯以前，她不会在那间镜屋里看到我和他在一起。我试图不去思考她看到的到底是什么。我不想让自己

的恐惧惊动贾斯帕，让他起疑心。无论如何，在爱丽丝看见了那些以后，他们会比平常更细心两倍地监视着我。这将会让我的一切努

力成为不可能。

我们到了机场。幸运之神站在了我这边，或许这只是因为赔率比较高。爱德华的飞机要在四个小时以后才会降落，那个航班将停靠在

最大的那个候机楼里，而那时正是最多航班降落的时候——当然，他的飞机会在这个时间这个地点降落并不令人惊讶。但这正是我所

需要的那座航空楼：最大的，最容易让人迷路的那一座，而候机楼三层的那道门将是我唯一的机会。

我们把车停在了那个巨大的停车楼的四层。我负责带路，因为我曾来过这里，所以比他们更熟悉周围的环境。我们坐电梯到了三层，

那里是乘客办理行李托运的地方。有很长一段时间，爱丽丝和贾斯帕都在看着即将起飞的航班办理登机手续的情景。我能听到他们在

讨论着纽约，亚特兰大和芝加哥的优点和缺点。我从没见过那些地方。我再也不会有机会见到的地方。

我在焦急地等待着合适的时机，我的脚不听使唤地打着拍子。我们坐在金属探测器旁的一排排椅子上，贾斯帕和爱丽丝假装在看着来

来往往的人群，实际上却是在监视着我。这真让人绝望。我应该跑吗？他们敢在这样的公共场合阻止我吗？又或者他们只会跟着我。


=======================

"How does it work? The things that you see?" I stared out the side
window, and my voice sounded bored. "Edward said it wasn't definite… that
things change?" It was harder than I would have thought to say his name.
That must have been what alerted Jasper, why a fresh wave of serenity
filled the car.

"Yes, things change…" she murmured — hopefully, I thought. "Some things
are more certain than others… like the weather. People are harder. I only
see the course they're on while they're on it. Once they change their
minds — make a new decision, no matter how small — the whole future
shifts."

I nodded thoughtfully. "So you couldn't see James in Phoenix until he
decided to come here."

"Yes," she agreed, wary again.

And she hadn't seen me in the mirror room with James until I'd made the
decision to meet him there. I tried not to think about what else she
might have seen. I didn't want my panic to make Jasper more suspicious.
They would be watching me twice as carefully now, anyway, after Alice's
vision. This was going to be impossible.

We got to the airport. Luck was with me, or maybe it was just good odds.
Edward's plane was landing in terminal four, the largest terminal, where
most flights landed — so it wasn't surprising that his was. But it was
the terminal I needed: the biggest, the most confusing. And there was a
door on level three that might be the only chance.

We parked on the fourth floor of the huge garage. I led the way, for once
more knowledgeable about my surroundings than they were. We took the
elevator down to level three, where the passengers unloaded. Alice and
Jasper spent a long time looking at the departing flights board. I could
hear them discussing the pros and cons of New York, Atlanta, Chicago.
Places I'd never seen. And would never see.

I waited for my opportunity, impatient, unable to stop my toe from
tapping. We sat in the long rows of chairs by the metal detectors, Jasper
and Alice pretending to people-watch but really watching me. Every inch I
shifted in my seat was followed by a quick glance out of the corner of
their eyes. It was hopeless. Should I run? Would they dare to stop me
physically in this public place? Or would they simply follow?

阿汤哥

我把那封尚未署名的信封从钱包里拿出来，放到爱丽丝那只黑色的皮包上。她看着我。

“我的信。”我说道。她点了点头，把那封信收到皮包最外面的夹层里。他很快就会看到它了。

时间一分一秒地过去，爱德华的到来越来越近了。这实在是件惊人的事，我体内的每一个细胞似乎都知道他就要到来，都渴望着他的

到来。这让事情变得很棘手。我发现自己试图想出留下来的借口，想要先看他一眼，再脱身而去。但我知道，只要我有任何机会脱身

，这一切就不可能发生。

爱丽丝几次提出要陪我去吃早餐。再等会儿，我告诉她，我还不饿。

我盯着到达航班布告屏，看着一个又一个航班准时抵达。从西雅图飞来的航班越来越靠近布告屏的顶端了。

然后，当我还剩下三十分钟可以脱身的时候，屏幕上的数字变了。他的航班提前十分钟到达。我没时间了。

“我想我现在需要吃点东西了。”我迅速说道。

爱丽丝站起来。“我和你一起去。”

“你介意让贾斯帕陪我吗？”我问道。“我觉得有点……”我没把句子说完。我眼里的狂乱已足以表达我没有说出的一切。

贾斯帕站了起来。爱丽丝的眼里写满了困惑，但令我宽慰的是，我看到她眼里并没有怀疑的痕迹。她一定把自己所预见的改变归咎于

追随者的某种阴谋，根本没想到是我的背叛。

==========================

I pulled the unmarked envelope out of my pocket and set it on top of
Alice's black leather bag. She looked at me.

"My letter," I said. She nodded, tucking it under the top flap. He would
find it soon enough.

The minutes passed and Edward's arrival grew closer. It was amazing how
every cell in my body seemed to know he was coming, to long for his
coming. That made it very hard. I found myself trying to think of excuses
to stay, to see him first and then make my escape. But I knew that was
impossible if I was going to have any chance to get away.

Several times Alice offered to go get breakfast with me. Later, I told
her, not yet.

I stared at the arrival board, watching as flight after flight arrived on
time. The flight from Seattle crept closer to the top of the board.

And then, when I had only thirty minutes to make my escape, the numbers
changed. His plane was ten minutes early. I had no more time.

"I think I'll eat now," I said quickly.

Alice stood. "I'll come with you."

"Do you mind if Jasper comes instead?" I asked. "I'm feeling a little…" I
didn't finish the sentence. My eyes were wild enough to convey what I
didn't say.

Jasper stood up. Alice's eyes were confused, but — I saw to my relief—
not suspicious. She must be attributing the change in her vision to some
maneuver of the tracker's rather than a betrayal by me.

阿汤哥

贾斯帕沉默地走在我身旁，他的手轻轻点着我的背，就好像他在给我领路一样。我假装对最先遇到的那几家机场咖啡屋毫无兴趣，我

的脑子在搜寻着我真正想要的某物。然后，我找到了，就在拐角处那里，在爱丽丝锐利的目光所及范围之外：三层女化妆间。

“你介意吗？”当我们走过那间化妆间前时，我问贾斯帕。“我只占用一点点时间。”

“我会在这里等着。”他说道。

身后的门刚刚关上，我立刻狂奔起来。我还记得，上次我曾在这个化妆间里迷路，因为这里有两个出口。
出了远处的那个门，只需再冲刺一小段路就能到达电梯。如果贾斯帕真的像他说的那样待在那里等着的话，他绝对不会看见我。当我

奔跑的时候，我没有回头张望。这是我唯一的几乎，即使他看见我了，我也得继续跑。人们都在盯着我看，但我不去理会他们。拐过

拐角，电梯正在那里等着，我夺路狂奔，把手伸进那架载满了人的下行电梯即将关闭的门里。我用力挤进那群愤怒的乘客里，看了一

眼按钮板，想知道一层的按钮是否已经被按下了。那个按钮已经亮了起来，电梯门关上了。

一等电梯门打开，我又挤了出去，身后传来一阵恼怒的喃喃低语声。当我从自动扶梯上穿过安保岗时，我放慢了速度。当出口出现在

眼前时，我又狂奔起来。我已经来不及细想贾斯帕是否正在找我了。

如果他循着我的味道跟着我时，我就只剩下几秒钟的时间了。我冲向自动门，因为它们打开地太慢，我还差点撞到了玻璃上。

在拥挤的马路旁，我一辆的士都没看见。

我没时间了。爱丽丝和贾斯帕就要知道我的逃跑了，或者，他们已经知道了。只需一下心跳的时间他们就能找到我。

在离我几步远的地方，一辆去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士刚刚关上门。
==========================

Jasper walked silently beside me, his hand on the small of my back, as if
he were guiding me. I pretended a lack of interest in the first few
airport cafes, my head scanning for what I really wanted. And there it
was, around the corner, out of Alice's sharp sight: the level-three
ladies' room.

"Do you mind?" I asked Jasper as we passed. "I'll just be a moment."

"I'll be right here," he said.

As soon as the door shut behind me, I was running. I remembered the time
I had gotten lost from this bathroom, because it had two exits.

Outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators, and if
Jasper stayed where he said he would, I'd never be in his line of sight.
I didn't look behind me as I ran. This was my only chance, and even if he
saw me, I had to keep going. People stared, but I ignored them. Around
the corner the elevators were waiting, and I dashed forward, throwing my
hand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down. I squeezed
in beside the irritated passengers, and checked to make sure that the
button for level one had been pushed. It was already lit, and the doors
closed.

As soon as the door opened I was off again, to the sound of annoyed
murmurs behind me. I slowed myself as I passed the security guards by the
luggage carousels, only to break into a run again as the exit doors came
into view. I had no way of knowing if Jasper was looking for me yet.

I would have only seconds if he was following my scent. I jumped out the
automatic doors, nearly smacking into the glass when they opened too
slowly.

Along the crowded curb there wasn't a cab in sight.

I had no time. Alice and Jasper were either about to realize I was gone,
or they already had. They would find me in a heartbeat.

A shuttle to the Hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me.

阿汤哥

"等一下！"我大喊着跑过去，一路冲着司机招手。

"这是去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士。"司机用困惑的声音说着，打开了门。

"是的，"我怒气冲冲地说道。"这正是我要去的地方。"我赶忙奔上那几级踏板。

他斜着眼看着没带任何行李的我，却只是耸耸肩，懒得发问。

大多数的座位都空着，我尽可能地坐得离别的乘客更远些，然后看向窗外。第一眼先看人行道，再看机场，然后我的目光在这两者之

间游离不定。我情不自禁地想象着爱德华的样子，想象着他追随着我的踪迹，然后站在了马路边上的样子。我还不能哭，我告诉自己

，我还有很长的路要走。

我的运气显灵了。机场宾馆的门口，一对看上去很疲惫的夫妇正在把他们的最后一件行李从一辆的士的后备箱里拿出来。我跳下穿梭

巴士，奔向那辆的士，迅速坐进司机身后的那个作为上。那对疲倦的夫妇和那个穿梭巴士司机都盯着我看。

我把我妈妈的住址告诉了那个一脸惊讶的出租车司机。"我要尽快赶到那里，越快越好。"

"那可是在菲尼克斯。"他抱怨道。

我把四张二十美元的钞票扔到前排座位上。

“这些够了吗？”

“当然，孩子，没问题。”

====================

"Wait!" I called, running, waving at the driver.

"This is the shuttle to the Hyatt," the driver said in confusion as he
opened the doors.

"Yes," I huffed, "that's where I'm going." I hurried up the steps.

He looked askance at my luggage-less state, but then shrugged, not caring
enough to ask.

Most of the seats were empty. I sat as far from the other travelers as
possible, and watched out the window as first the sidewalk, and then the
airport, drifted away. I couldn't help imagining Edward, where he would
stand at the edge of the road when he found the end of my trail. I
couldn't cry yet, I told myself. I still had a long way to go.

My luck held. In front of the Hyatt, a tired-looking couple was getting
their last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab. I jumped out of the
shuttle and ran to the cab, sliding into the seat behind the driver. The
tired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me.

I told the surprised cabbie my mother's address. "I need to get there as
soon as possible."

"That's in Scottsdale," he complained.

I threw four twenties over the seat.

"Will that be enough?"

"Sure, kid, no problem."