《Twilight 暮光之城Ⅰ——暮色》 （中英文对照·完结）

阿汤哥

“你是吗？”一想到爱德华和查理还有“男朋友”这个词将出现在同一时间同一地点，我不由得强抑住一阵暗自的畏缩。

“‘男孩’这个词确实不太确切，我会承认承认这一点。”

“我在想，事实上，你不仅仅是我的男朋友。”我坦白道，看着桌面。

“好吧，我不知道我们是否有必要向他展示这些血淋淋的细节。”他隔着桌子伸出手，用一根冰冷温柔的手指托起我的下颌。“但他会需要一些解释，为什么我会如次频繁地出现在这附近。我不想让史温警长对我颁布一个限制令。”

“你会吗？”我问道，忽然不安起来。“你真的会在这里吗？”

“只要你需要，我就在这里，不离不弃。”他向我保证。

“我每时每刻都需要你，”我警告他。“永远。”

他慢慢地绕过桌子走过来，然后，停在几英尺之外。他伸出手，用指尖触摸着我的脸颊。他的表情深不可测。

“这让你难过吗？”我问道。

他没有回答。他看进我的眼睛里，看了很久，很久。

“你吃完了吗？”他最终问道。

我跳起来。“是的。”

“去换衣服——我在这里等你。”

实在很难决定要穿什么衣服。我怀疑到底有没有专门的礼仪书会详细地介绍当你的吸血鬼达令带你回家见他的吸血鬼家族时应该怎样穿着。能够暗自想到这个词实在是种宽慰。我知道自己太害羞了，有意不提起这个词。

==================

"Is that what you are?" I suppressed my internal cringing at the thought
of Edward and Charlie and the word boy friend all in the same room at the
same time.

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'boy,' I'll admit."

"I was under the impression that you were something more, actually," I
confessed, looking at the table.

"Well, I don't know if we need to give him all the gory details." He
reached across the table to lift my chin with a cold, gentle finger. "But
he will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't
want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me."

"Will you be?" I asked, suddenly anxious. "Will you really be here?"

"As long as you want me," he assured me.

"I'll always want you," I warned him. "Forever."

He walked slowly around the table, and, pausing a few feet away, he
reached out to touch his fingertips to my cheek. His expression was
unfathomable.

"Does that make you sad?" I asked.

He didn't answer. He stared into my eyes for an immeasurable period of
time.

"Are you finished?" he finally asked.

I jumped up. "Yes."

"Get dressed — I'll wait here."

It was hard to decide what to wear. I doubted there were any etiquette
books detailing how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home
to meet his vampire family. It was a relief to think the word to myself.
I knew I shied away from it intentionally.

阿汤哥

我最终穿上了自己唯一的一件打底恤衫——卡其色的长恤衫。我穿起了他曾经称赞过的那件深蓝色的上衣。我飞快地瞥了一眼镜子，告诉自己我的头发完全令人无法容忍，所以我把头发梳到后面束成一个马尾。

“好吧。”我跳下楼梯。“我很大方得体。”

他在楼梯底下等着我，离得比我认为的还要紧，而我不偏不倚地向他跳过去。他稳住我，把我拉到了一个稍远的谨慎的距离，几秒之后，忽然又把我拉近些。

“又错了。”他在我耳畔低语着。“你绝对不够得上大方得体——谁都不应该穿得这样诱人的。这不公平。”

“怎样才算得体？”我问道。“我可以去换……”

他叹息着，摇了摇头。“你太荒谬了。”他优雅地把冰冷的唇印在我的前额上，我的脑子一片混乱。他呼吸的香气让我根本没办法思考。

“我应该向你解释你现在是如何诱或着我吗？”他说着。这实在是一个很符合修辞学的问题。他的手指慢慢地描着我的脊柱，他的呼吸越来越急促地拂过我的肌肤。我的双手抵在他的胸前，我又开始感到头晕眼花了。他慢慢地俯下头，用冰冷的唇吻上了我的唇，但只过了一秒钟，便非常小心地，轻轻地把它们分开了。

然后我瘫倒了。

“贝拉？”他的声音惊慌失措，他抓住我，把我扶起来。

“你……让……我……发晕了。”我头晕眼花地指控他。

“我该拿你怎么办呢？”他有些恼怒地说道。“昨天我吻你时你攻击了我！今天你却因为我的吻而晕过去了！”

我虚弱地笑了起来，让他的胳膊支撑着我，我的头还是很晕。

“你总说我擅长做每件事。”他叹息着说。

“这就是问题所在。”我还是有些眩晕。“你太擅长了。太，太擅长了。”

====================================

I ended up in my only skirt — long, khaki-colored, still casual. I put on
the dark blue blouse he'd once complimented. A quick glance in the mirror
told me my hair was entirely impossible, so I pulled it back into a pony
tail.

"Okay." I bounced down the stairs. "I'm decent."

He was waiting at the foot of the stairs, closer than I'd thought, and I
bounded right into him. He steadied me, holding me a careful distance
away for a few seconds before suddenly pulling me closer.

"Wrong again," he murmured in my ear. "You are utterly indecent — no one
should look so tempting, it's not fair."

"Tempting how?" I asked. "I can change…"

He sighed, shaking his head. "You are so absurd." He pressed his cool
lips delicately to my forehead, and the room spun. The smell of his
breath made it impossible to think.

"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?" he said. It was clearly a
rhetorical question. His fingers traced slowly down my spine, his breath
coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on his chest, and
I felt lightheaded again. He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool
lips to mine for the second time, very carefully, parting them slightly.

And then I collapsed.

"Bella?" His voice was alarmed as he caught me and held me up.

"You… made… me… faint," I accused him dizzily.

"What am I going to do with you?" he groaned in exasperation. "Yesterday
I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!"

I laughed weakly, letting his arms support me while my head spun.

"So much for being good at everything," he sighed.

"That's the problem." I was still dizzy. "You're too good. Far, far too
good."

阿汤哥

“你觉得头晕吗？”他问道。他之前见过我像这样子。

“不——这完全不是那种头晕。我不知道发生了什么事。”我充满歉意地摇着头。“我想我忘了呼吸。”

“你现在这个样子，我可不敢带你去任何地方。”

“我没事。”我坚持着。“无论如何，你的家人都会认为我有病，有什么区别吗？”

他估量了片刻我的神情。“我特别偏爱你现在这种肤色。”他出乎意料地说道。我愉快地脸红了，赶忙看向别处。

“看，我会竭尽全力不去想我将要做的事，所以我们现在可以走了吗？”我问道。

“而你在担心，不是因为你将要见到一屋子的吸血鬼，而是因为你认为那些吸血鬼不会赞同你，对吗？”

“没错。”我立刻答道，掩饰着自己对他漫不经心地用着这个词的惊讶。

他摇了摇头：“你简直难以置信。”

当他把我的卡车开出镇里的主街区时，我才意识到，我还不知道他住在哪里。我们开过架在Calawah河上的桥，开向通往北部的道路。房屋飞快地从我们车旁掠过，渐渐变得不那么密集，房屋主体也变得越来越巨大。然后，我们把所有的住家都抛在了身后，开进了云雾缭绕的森林。我还在试图决定是要开口问还是耐心等待的时候，他忽然掉转车头开进了一条没有铺着柏油的路。这条路没有任何标记，在一片蕨类植物中隐约可见。它蜿蜒蛇行着穿过一颗颗古老的树木，森林在路两旁侵蚀着我们的视野，让我们只能看见路前方几米远的地方。

然后，又开过数英里以后，树木变得稀少些了，忽然间我们就在一片小小的草地上了，或许这事实上是一片私人草坪？但是，森林里的幽暗感并未消散，因为有六棵未经修剪的雪松用它们广阔的绵延的枝叶荫蔽着整块草地。这些树撑起了它们保护性的树阴，一直绵延到房屋的外墙上，那外墙凌于树荫之上，使得环绕着房屋一层的深邃的门廊显得有些陈旧。

=========================

"Do you feel sick?" he asked; he'd seen me like this before.

"No — that wasn't the same kind of fainting at all. I don't know what
happened." I shook my head apologeticallv, "I think I forgot to breathe."

"I can't take you anywhere like this."

"I'm fine," I insisted. "Your family is going to think I'm insane anyway,
what's the difference?"

He measured my expression for a moment. "I'm very partial to that color
with your skin," he offered unexpectedly. I flushed with pleasure, and
looked away.

"Look, I'm trying really hard not to think about what I'm about to do, so
can we go already?" I asked.

"And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of
vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you,
correct?"

"That's right," I answered immediately, hiding my surprise at his casual
use of the word.

He shook his head. "You're incredible."

I realized, as he drove my truck out of the main part of town, that I had
no idea where he lived. We passed over the bridge at the Calawah River,
the road winding northward, the houses flashing past us growing farther
apart, getting bigger. And then we were past the other houses altogether,
driving through misty forest. I was trying to decide whether to ask or be
patient, when he turned abruptly onto an unpaved road. It was unmarked,
barely visible among the ferns. The forest encroached on both sides,
leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted,
serpentlike, around the ancient trees.

And then, after a few miles, there was some thinning of the woods, and we
were suddenly in a small meadow, or was it actually a lawn? The gloom of
the forest didn't relent, though, for there were six primordial cedars
that shaded an entire acre with their vast sweep of branches. The trees
held their protecting shadow right up to the walls of the house that rose
among them, making obsolete the deep porch that wrapped around the first
story.

阿汤哥

我不知道自己在期待着什么，但绝对不是这样的。这所房子经久优美，也许有一百年以上的历史了。它被粉刷成一种柔和的，有些褪色的白色，有三层楼高，四四方方，很是对称。门窗都是最初的结构，或是修旧如旧。我的卡车是我所能看见的唯一一辆车子。我能听到河流的声音，就在附近的某个地方，隐藏在幽暗的森林中。

“哇噢。”

“你喜欢？”他笑了起来。

“这……实在太有吸引力了。”

他拉了一下我的马尾的末梢，轻笑起来。

“准备好了吗？”他问道，打开了我的车门。

“一点也没有——我们走吧。”我试图大笑，但笑声似乎卡在了我的喉咙里。我不安地抚平着自己的头发。

“你看上去很可爱。”他轻松地拉起我的手，完全不假思索。

我们穿过深邃的树阴，向门廊走去。我知道他能感觉到我的不安，他的拇指在我的手背上打着圈，让我镇静下来。

他为我打开了门。

屋里更加惊人，甚至比屋外还要出乎意料。屋里非常明亮，非常开阔，非常宽敞。这里原本应该有好几个房间，但一层的大部分墙壁都被打通了，变成了一个尤为广阔的空间。屋后面向南边的墙壁被全部替换成整块的玻璃，而在雪松的树荫之外，绵延着的草地上，一条宽广的河流展露无遗。一座宏伟的回旋楼梯占据了房间的西面。墙面，高高耸起的天花板，木制的地板，厚重的地毯，全都是各种色调的白色。

就站在门口的左边，站在地板上一块升高的部分，在一架巨大的平台式钢琴旁，等着招呼我们的，是爱德华的父母。

===========================

I don't know what I had expected, but it definitely wasn't this. The
house was timeless, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. It was
painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well
proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original
structure or a perfect restoration. My truck was the only car in sight. I
could hear the river close by, hidden in the obscurity of the forest.

"Wow."

"You like it?" He smiled.

"It… has a certain charm."

He pulled the end of my ponytail and chuckled.

"Ready?" he asked, opening my door.

"Not even a little bit — let's go." I tried to laugh, but it seemed to
get stuck in my throat. I smoothed my hair nervously.

"You look lovely." He took my hand easily, without thinking about it.

We walked through the deep shade up to the porch. I knew he could feel my
tension; his thumb rubbed soothing circles into the back of my hand.

He opened the door for me.

The inside was even more surprising, less predictable, than the exterior.
It was very bright, very open, and very large. This must have originally
been several rooms, but the walls had been removed from most of the first
floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall had been
entirely replaced with glass, and, beyond the shade of the cedars, the
lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase
dominated the west side of the room. The walls, the high-beamed ceiling,
the wooden floors, and the thick carpets were all varying shades of white.

Waiting to greet us, standing just to the left of the door, on a raised
portion of the floor by a spectacular grand piano, were Edward's parents.

阿汤哥

当然，我之前见过卡伦医生，但我还是情不自禁地被他的年轻，他可恶的完美震撼了。站在他身旁的是艾思梅，我敢确定，因为她是这个家里我此前唯一从未见过的人。她和其他人一样，有着苍白，美丽的外表。她心形的脸庞，波浪般起伏的柔软的焦糖色的秀发，让我想起了默片时代电影中的纯真少女。她个子小巧，身形纤细，但不像其他人那样消瘦，她更圆润些。他们的穿着都很随意，都穿着与屋里的色调相衬的浅颜色衣服。他们微笑着表示欢迎，但并没有向我们走过来。我猜，是为了避免吓着我。

“卡莱尔，艾思梅，”爱德华的声音打破了这阵短暂的沉默。“这位是贝拉。”

“非常欢迎你，贝拉。”卡莱尔向我走过来，他的步子十分小心慎重。他试探性地伸出手，我走向前去，和他握手。

“很高兴再次见到你，卡伦医生。”

“拜托，叫我卡莱尔。”

“卡莱尔。”我向他露齿一笑，忽然涌起的自信让我吃惊不小。我能感觉到，站在我身旁的爱德华如释重负。

艾思梅微笑着，也走上前来，握住了我的手。她冰冷如石头般的紧握和我期待的一样

“很高兴认识你。”她由衷地说道。

“谢谢。我也很高兴见到你。”而且我一直都是。就像遇见一个童话故事——一个活生生的白雪公主。

“爱丽丝和贾斯帕在哪里？”爱德华问道，但没人回答，他们已经出现在宽阔的楼梯顶上。

“嗨，爱德华！”爱丽丝热情地喊道。她跑下楼梯，只见一阵黑发雪肤的幻影，顷刻之间她已优雅地出现在我面前。卡莱尔和艾思梅警告地瞪着她，但我喜欢这样。这很正常——无论如何，对她而言确实是这样。

“嗨，贝拉！”爱丽丝说着，跳上前来亲吻我的脸颊。如果卡莱尔和艾思梅之前只是警惕地看着的话，他们现在简直是难以置信地看着。我的眼里也露出了震惊的神情，但我还是很高兴，她竟然如此如此全盘地认同我。我惊奇地感觉到爱德华在我身旁僵住了。我瞥了一眼他的脸，但他的神情有些难以琢磨。

=====================
I'd seen Dr. Cullen before, of course, yet I couldn't help but be struck
again by his youth, his outrageous perfection. At his side was Esme, I
assumed, the only one of the family I'd never seen before. She had the
same pale, beautiful features as the rest of them. Something about her
heart-shaped face, her billows of soft, caramel-colored hair, reminded me
of the ingénues of the silent-movie era. She was small, slender, yet less
angular, more rounded than the others. They were both dressed casually,
in light colors that matched the inside of the house. They smiled in
welcome, but made no move to approach us. Trying not to frighten me, I
guessed.

"Carlisle, Esme," Edward's voice broke the short silence, "this is Bella."

"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle's step was measured, careful as he
approached me. He raised his hand tentatively, and I stepped forward to
shake hands with him.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." I grinned at him, my sudden confidence surprising me. I could
feel Edward's relief at my side.

Esme smiled and stepped forward as well, reaching for my hand. Her cold,
stone grasp was just as I expected.

"It's very nice to know you," she said sincerely.

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." And I was. It was like meeting a
fairy tale — Snow White, in the flesh.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Edward asked, but no one answered, as they
had just appeared at the top of the wide staircase.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called enthusiastically. She ran down the stairs, a
streak of black hair and white skin, coming to a sudden and graceful stop
in front of me. Carlisle and Esme shot warning glances at her, but I
liked it. It was natural — for her, anyway.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice said, and she bounced forward to kiss my cheek. If
Carlisle and Esme had looked cautious before, they now looked staggered.
There was shock in my eyes, too, but I was also very pleased that she
seemed to approve of me so entirely. I was startled to feel Edward
stiffen at my side. I glanced at his face, but his expression was
unreadable.

阿汤哥

“你闻起来真的很棒，我之前从没注意到。”让我异常窘迫地是，她如此评价道。

没人知道该说些什么，然后贾斯帕站在了那里——身材高大，宛如狮子。一种安心的感觉传遍了我的全身，我忽然轻松起来，不再在乎自己在那里。爱德华挑起一侧眉毛，看着贾斯帕，我这才想起来贾斯帕的天赋。

“你好，贝拉。”贾斯帕说道。他依然站在远处，并不主动过来和我握手。但在他周围是不可能感觉到尴尬的。

“你好，贾斯帕。”我向他微微一笑，然后向所有人微笑。“很高兴见到你们——你们的家非常漂亮。”我依照惯例补充了一句。

“谢谢，”艾思梅说道。“我们都很高兴你能来。”她饱含深情地说着，我意识到她觉得我很勇敢。
我同样注意到，罗莎莉和艾美特都不在这里，我还记得当我问到别人会不会不喜欢我时，爱德华过于天真的否认。

卡莱尔的神情转移了我的注意力，把我从思绪中啦了回来。他一脸紧张的神情，正用意味深长的目光注视着爱德华。在眼睛的余光中，我看到爱德华点了点头。

我看向别处，试图保持礼貌。我的眼睛又一次徘徊在门边平台上那架美丽的乐器上。我忽然想起了我童年时疯狂的梦想，想象着如果我能中一张彩票，我就能给我母亲买一架钢琴了。她弹得不是很好——她只在我们的二手立式钢琴上自娱自乐地弹过——但我喜欢看她弹奏。她很快乐，一心一意地弹着——对我来说，她似乎是一个全新的，谜一样的人，跳出了我所认定的“妈妈”的角色之外的人。当然，她也让我上过几堂课，但像大多数孩子一样，我哭闹不休，直到她放过我为止。

艾思梅注意到了我关注的对象。

“你会弹吗？”她问道，把头偏向了那架钢琴。

我摇了摇头。“完全不会。但它很漂亮。这是你的吗？”

“不。”她大笑起来。“爱德华没有告诉过你他很有音乐天赋吗？”

“没有。”我眯起眼睛，瞪着他忽然露出的无辜神情。“我猜，我应该早就料到的。”

艾思梅困惑地扬起她精致优雅的眉毛。

===========================

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," she commented, to my extreme
embarrassment.

No one else seemed to know quite what to say, and then Jasper was there —
tall and leonine. A feeling of ease spread through me, and I was suddenly
comfortable despite where I was. Edward stared at Jasper, raising one
eyebrow, and I remembered what Jasper could do.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper said. He kept his distance, not offering to shake
my hand. But it was impossible to feel awkward near him.

"Hello, Jasper." I smiled at him shyly, and then at the others. "It's
nice to meet you all — you have a very beautiful home," I added
conventionally.

"Thank you," Esme said. "We're so glad that you came." She spoke with
feeling, and I realized that she thought I was brave.

I also realized that Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be seen, and I
remembered Edward's too-innocent denial when I'd asked him if the others
didn't like me.

Carlisle's expression distracted me from this train of thought; he was
gazing meaningfully at Edward with an intense expression. Out of the
corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once.

I looked away, trying to be polite. My eyes wandered again to the
beautiful instrument on the platform by the door. I suddenly remembered
my childhood fantasy that, should I ever win a lottery, I would buy a
grand piano for my mother. She wasn't really good — she only played for
herself on our secondhand upright — but I loved to watch her play. She
was happy, absorbed — she seemed like a new, mysterious being to me then,
someone outside the "mom" persona I took for granted. She'd put me
through lessons, of course, but like most kids, I whined until she let me
quit.

Esme noticed my preoccupation.

"Do you play?" she asked, inclining her head toward the piano.

I shook my head. "Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?"

"No," she laughed. "Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"

"No." I glared at his suddenly innocent expression with narrowed eyes. "I
should have known, I guess."

Esme raised her delicate eyebrows in confusion.

阿汤哥

“爱德华什么都会，对吧？”我解释道。

贾斯帕窃笑起来，艾思梅责难地瞪了爱德华一眼。

“我希望你没有在炫耀——这样太没礼貌了。”她训斥道。

“只有一点点。”他肆无忌惮地大笑起来。她的脸因为他的声音而柔和了起来，他们交换了一个我无法理解的简短的眼神，可是艾思梅的神情却几近俏皮。

“事实上，他太谦逊了。”我更正道。

“好吧，去为她弹上一曲。”艾思梅鼓励道。

“你刚说过炫耀是没有礼貌的。”他反驳道。

“每条规矩都有例外。”她答复道。

“我想听你弹奏。”我自告奋勇地说道。

“那就决定了。”艾思梅把他推向钢琴。他拉着我一起走过去，让我坐到琴凳上和他挨着坐。

他恼火地看了我许久，这才转向那些琴键。

然后，他的手指轻快地在那些象牙白色的琴键上跃动起来，流淌在房间里的乐章是如此的复杂，如此的丰富，很难想象这是用一双手弹出来的。我感觉到我的下巴掉下来了，我惊愕地张大了嘴，听到了从我身后传来的对我的反应的轻笑声。

爱德华若无其事地看着我，但音乐丝毫没有停顿，依然在我们身旁奔涌着。他向我眨了眨眼。“你喜欢吗？”

“你写的？”我明白过来，喘息着说。

他点了点头。“这是艾思梅最喜欢的一曲。”


=========================

"Edward can do everything, right?" I explained.

Jasper snickered and Esme gave Edward a reproving look.

"I hope you haven't been showing off— it's rude," she scolded.

"Just a bit," he laughed freely. Her face softened at the sound, and they
shared a brief look that I didn't understand, though Esme's face seemed
almost smug.

"He's been too modest, actually," I corrected.

"Well, play for her," Esme encouraged.

"You just said showing off was rude," he objected.

"There are exceptions to every rule," she replied.

"I'd like to hear you play," I volunteered.

"It's settled then." Esme pushed him toward the piano. He pulled me
along, sitting me on the bench beside him.

He gave me a long, exasperated look before he turned to the keys.

And then his fingers flowed swiftly across the ivory, and the room was
filled with a composition so complex, so luxuriant, it was impossible to
believe only one set of hands played. I felt my chin drop, my mouth open
in astonishment, and heard low chuckles behind me at my reaction.

Edward looked at me casually, the music still surging around us without a
break, and winked. "Do you like it?"

"You wrote this?" I gasped, understanding.

He nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."

阿汤哥

我闭上眼睛，摇了摇头。

“怎么了？”

“我觉得自己一无是处。”

音乐缓慢下来，演变成了一首更为轻柔的曲子。而让我惊讶的是，我从那些丰富的音节里认出了交织在其中的他那首摇篮曲的旋律。

“你启发了我的灵感，让我写下了这首曲子。”他温柔地说着。音乐变得更加甜蜜，简直让人不堪忍受。

我说不出话来。

“他们很喜欢你，你知道，”他攀谈道。“尤其是艾思梅。”

我向背后望去，但整个巨大的房间现在都空了。

“他们都上哪儿去了？”

“非常巧妙地给我们留出一点私人空间，我猜是这样。”

我叹了口气。“他们都喜欢我。可罗莎莉和艾美特……”我打住了话头，不知道该如何表达自己的疑虑。

他皱起眉：“别担心罗莎莉，”他说道，他睁大了眼睛，很有说服力。“她会回来的。”

我怀疑地撅起嘴唇。“艾美特呢？”

“嗯，他觉得我疯了，这倒是真的。但他对你毫不介怀。他正试图劝说罗莎莉。”

“是什么让她不快呢？”我不敢确定自己是否想要知道答案。

他深深地叹息着。“罗莎莉太纠结于……我们的身份。对她来说让外面的人了解真相是件很难的事。而且她有点儿嫉妒。”

=================================

I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm feeling extremely insignificant."

The music slowed, transforming into something softer, and to my surprise
I detected the melody of his lullaby weaving through the profusion of
notes.

"You inspired this one," he said softly. The music grew unbearably sweet.

I couldn't speak.

"They like you, you know," he said conversationally. "Esme especially."

I glanced behind me, but the huge room was empty now.

"Where did they go?"

"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose."

I sighed. "They like me. But Rosalie and Emmett…" I trailed off, not sure
how to express my doubts.

He frowned. "Don't worry about Rosalie," he said, his eyes wide and
persuasive. "She'll come around."

I pursed my lips skeptically. "Emmett?"

"Well, he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem
with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the
answer.

He sighed deeply. "Rosalie struggles the most with… with what we are.
It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And
she's a little jealous."

阿汤哥

“罗莎莉嫉妒我？”我难以置信地问道。我试图想象出某个宇宙空间，在那里像罗莎莉这样美丽得惊人的人会有某种可能的理由嫉妒像我这样的人。

“你是人类。”他耸耸肩。“而她希望她也是。”

“哦，”我喃喃低语道。“可是，甚至连贾斯帕……”

“那确实是我的错。”他说道。“我告诉过你他是最近才开始尝试我们的生活方式的。我警告过他，要他离你远一点。”

我想到了那个理由，战栗起来。

“艾思梅和卡莱尔……”我赶快继续说道，不想让他注意到。

“都很高兴看到我快乐。事实上，就算你多长了一只眼睛或者脚上有蹼，她都不会介意的。一直以来她都在担心着我，生怕我必要的天性会有所缺失，因为当卡莱尔转变我的时候，我还太年轻……她简直欣喜若狂。每次我触碰你的时候，她都会因为心满意足而哽咽了。”

“爱丽丝似乎非常地……热情。”

“爱丽丝有她自己独特的看问题的方式。”他紧闭着唇，勉强说道。

“而你不打算解释这一点，对吧？”

一阵无需言语的交流在我们之间传递着。他意识到，我已经知道他有事情隐瞒着我。我意识到，他不会泄露任何内容的。至少不是现在。
“所以这就是卡莱尔之前想要告诉你的？”

他的眉头聚拢在了一起。“你注意到了，对吗？”

我耸耸肩。“当然。”

他若有所思地看了我几秒种后，答道。“他想告诉我一点新闻——他不知道这是否是我能和你分享的内容。”

=====================

"Rosalie is jealous of me?" I asked incredulously. I tried to imagine a
universe in which someone as breathtaking as Rosalie would have any
possible reason to feel jealous of someone like me.

"You're human." He shrugged. "She wishes that she were, too."

"Oh," I muttered, still stunned. "Even Jasper, though…"

"That's really my fault," he said. "I told you he was the most recent to
try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."

I thought about the reason for that, and shuddered.

"Esme and Carlisle… ?" I continued quickly, to keep him from noticing.

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a
third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me,
afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I
was too young when Carlisle changed me… She's ecstatic. Every time I
touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

"Alice seems very… enthusiastic."

"Alice has her own way of looking at things," he said through tight lips.

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"

A moment of wordless communication passed between us. He realized that I
knew he was keeping something from me. I realized that he wasn't going to
give anything away. Not now.

"So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

His eyebrows pulled together. "You noticed that, did you?"

I shrugged. "Of course."

He looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before answering. "He
wanted to tell me some news — he didn't know if it was something I would
share with you."

阿汤哥

“你会吗？”

“我不得不告诉你，因为我将要有点……过度保护你，在未来的几天内——或者几周——而我不想让你觉得我是个天生的暴君。”

“怎么了？”

“事实上，没什么。爱丽丝刚刚看到有些访客很快就要到来了。他们知道我们在这里，而且他们很好奇。”

“访客？”

“是的……好吧，当然，他们不像我们——我是指，在狩猎习惯上。他们也许根本不会进镇里来，但我确实不想让你离开我的视线范围，直到他们离开为止。”

我颤抖起来。

“终于，一个合理的反应！”他喃喃低语道。“我正要开始认为你完全没有自我保护的意识呢。”

我不去理会这个话题，只是看向别处，我的目光再次徜徉在这间广阔的房间里。

他追随着我的视线。“不是你所期待的，对吗？”他问道，他的声音有些自以为是。

“不是。”我承认道。

“没有棺材，角落里没有成堆的头盖骨，我甚至不认为我们会有蜘蛛网……你一定失望透顶了。”他狡猾地继续说道。

我无视他的揶揄。“这里是那么的明亮……那么的开阔。”

当他回答的时候，他更认真些了。“这里是我们永远不需要躲藏的地方。”

他依然在弹着那首歌，我的歌，渐渐滑入尾声。最后一个和音落在了一个更为忧伤的音调上。最后一个音符回荡着，在一片沉默中愈发醒目。

==========================

"Will you?"

"I have to, because I'm going to be a little… overbearingly protective
over the next few days — or weeks — and I wouldn't want you to think I'm
naturally a tyrant."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon.
They know we're here, and they're curious."

"Visitors?"

"Yes… well, they aren't like us, of course — in their hunting habits, I
mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not
going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

I shivered.

"Finally, a rational response!" he murmured. "I was beginning to think
you had no sense of self-preservation at all."

I let that one pass, looking away, my eyes wandering again around the
spacious room.

He followed my gaze. "Not what you expected, is it?" he asked, his voice
smug.

"No," I admitted.

"No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don't even think we have
cobwebs… what a disappointment this must be for you," he continued slyly.

I ignored his teasing. "It's so light… so open."

He was more serious when he answered. "It's the one place we never have
to hide."

The song he was still playing, my song, drifted to an end, the final
chords shifting to a more melancholy key. The last note hovered
poignantly in the silence.

阿汤哥

“谢谢。”我喃喃低语着。我意识到自己的眼中已经盈满了泪水。我轻轻抹去泪水，有些尴尬。

他轻触我的眼角，截住一滴我遗漏了的泪珠。他举起那根手指，审视着那一滴忧伤的液体。然后，他把手指放到嘴里，品尝它的味道。他的动作太快了，我不能肯定他是否真的这样做了。

我疑虑地看着，而他回过头来看着我，看了许久，最终笑了起来。

“你想去看看房子的其余部分吗？”

“没有棺材？”我求证道，我话里的挖苦并不能完全掩盖住我所感受到的微小但真切的不安。

他大笑起来，牵起我的手，带着我从钢琴旁离开。

“没有棺材。”他保证道。

我们走上那座宏伟的楼梯，我的手一直放在如绸缎般光滑的扶手上。楼梯尽头那长长的走廊里镶嵌着一种米色的木板，和一楼的地板一样。

“罗莎莉和艾美特的房间……卡莱尔的办公室……爱丽丝的房间……”他一边引着我走过一扇扇门，一边指点着。

他本来要继续走下去的，但我停在了走廊的尽头，怀疑地看着我头上的墙面上挂着的装饰物。爱德华看着我迷惑的神情，轻笑起来。

“你尽可以笑出来。”他说着，“这是某种讽刺。”

我可笑不出来。我的手下意识地抬了起来，伸出一根手指，仿佛要触到那个巨大的木制的十字架，它因年久而发暗的颜色与浅色调的墙面形成了鲜明的对比。我没有触碰它，虽然我很好奇，这块有些年头的木头摸起来会不会像它看上去那样光滑如丝。

“这一定很古老了。”我猜测着。

他耸耸肩。“十六世纪三十年代早期，大约是那个时候。”

我的目光从十字架上移开，注视着他。

====================================

"Thank you," I murmured. I realized there were tears in my eyes. I dabbed
at them, embarrassed.

He touched the corner of my eye, trapping one I missed. He lifted his
finger, examining the drop of moisture broodingly. Then, so quickly I
couldn't be positive that he really did, he put his finger to his mouth
to taste it.

I looked at him questioningly, and he gazed back for a long moment before
he finally smiled.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"No coffins?" I verified, the sarcasm in my voice not entirely masking
the slight but genuine anxiety I felt.

He laughed, taking my hand, leading me away from the piano.

"No coffins," he promised.

We walked up the massive staircase, my hand trailing along the
satin-smooth rail. The long hall at the top of the stairs was paneled
with a honey-colored wood, the same as the floorboards.

"Rosalie and Emmett's room… Carlisle's office… Alice's room…" He gestured
as he led me past the doors.

He would have continued, but I stopped dead at the end of the hall,
staring incredulously at the ornament hanging on the wall above my head.
Edward chuckled at my bewildered expression.

"You can laugh," he said. "It is sort of ironic."

I didn't laugh. My hand raised automatically, one finger extended as if
to touch the large wooden cross, its dark patina contrasting with the
lighter tone of the wall. I didn't touch it, though I was curious if the
aged wood would feel as silky as it looked.

"It must be very old," I guessed.

He shrugged. "Early sixteen-thirties, more or less."

I looked away from the cross to stare at him.

阿汤哥

“为什么你要把它留在这里呢？”我很怀疑。

“念旧之情。它属于卡莱尔的父亲。”

“他收集古董？”我怀疑地试探道。

“不。他亲手把它雕刻出来。它就挂在他布道的教区牧师住宅的讲道坛后的墙面上。”

我不能肯定我的表情是否泄露了我的震惊。但为了以防万一，我转过身去，看着那个简朴的古老的十字架。我飞快地心算着：这个十字架有超过三百七十年的历史了。沉默在延续着，我挣扎着让自己的脑子塞满了这个念头——这么多年。

“你还好吗？”他听起来有些担心。

“卡莱尔几岁了？”我无视他的问题，依然向上看着，飞快地问道，

“他刚刚庆祝完他的三百六十二岁生日。”爱德华说道。我回过头去看向他，眼里写满了上百万个问题。
他一边说话，一边小心地看着我。

“卡莱尔生于伦敦，他确信是在在十七世纪四十年代。那时候时间的计算还不太精确，至少对普通人来说是这样。那时还在克伦威尔的统治之下。”

我一边听着，一边绷住脸，我知道他在仔细查看着我。如果我不试图去相信他所说的话的话，这样做会更容易些。

“他是一个圣公会牧师的独生子。他的母亲在生下他以后就死于难产了。他的父亲是个偏执的男人。当新教徒开始掌权时，他狂热地开始了对罗马天主教和其他宗教的迫害。他同样极其坚定地相信着存在着**的事物。他领导了大规模的猎杀行动，狩猎女巫，狼人……还有吸血鬼。”一听到这个词，我立刻僵住了。我知道他注意到了，但他没有停顿，继续说了下去。

“他们烧死了许多无辜的人——当然，他找到的真正的那些生物并不那么容易捕捉。”

=============================

"Why do you keep this here?" I wondered.

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father."

"He collected antiques?" I suggested doubtfully.

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the
vicarage where he preached."

I wasn't sure if my face betrayed my shock, but I returned to gazing at
the **, ancient cross, just in case. I quickly did the mental math;
the cross was over three hundred and seventy years old. The silence
stretched on as I struggled to wrap my mind around the concept of so many
years.

"Are you all right?" He sounded worried.

"How old is Carlisle?" I asked quietly, ignoring his question, still
staring up.

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday," Edward
said. I looked back at him, a million questions in my eyes.

He watched me carefully as he spoke.

"Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time
wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was
just before Cromwell's rule, though."

I kept my face composed, aware of his scrutiny as I listened. It was
easier if I didn't try to believe.

"He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth
to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into
power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and
other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil.
He led hunts for witches, werewolves… and vampires." I grew very still at
the word. I'm sure he noticed, but he went on without pausing.

"They burned a lot of innocent people — of course the real creatures that
he sought were not so easy to catch.

阿汤哥

“当那个牧师日益老去的时候，他让他顺从的儿子接替了搜捕的领导者的位置。起初卡莱尔的表现很让人失望。他不能很快地提出指控，不能在事实上也确实没有魔鬼的地方看到魔鬼。但他很固执，而且比他的父亲还要聪明。他确实找到了一个由一群真正的吸血鬼组成的巫会，他们隐藏在城市的下水道里，只在晚上才出来狩猎。在那些日子里，在怪物还不仅仅是神话与传说的时候，这是许多吸血鬼生活的方式。”

“人们聚集起来，当然，拿着他们的干草叉和火把”——他短促的笑声变得阴暗起来——“等在了卡莱尔看到怪物出没的街道上。最终，一个吸血鬼出现了。”

他的声音非常低，我紧张地捕捉着每一个字眼。

“他一定很古老了，而且因为饥饿而有些虚弱。当他看见这群暴动的民众时，卡莱尔听到他向别的几个喊着拉丁语。他跑过街道，而卡莱尔——他才二十三岁，跑得非常快——领着人们追踪着他。那个生物本来可以轻而易举地摆脱他们的，但卡莱尔认为他太饿了，所以他转过来攻击人们。他首先扑向了卡莱尔，但别的人正紧跟在后头，所以他转身自卫。他杀了两个人，带着第三个离开了，把流着血的卡莱尔留在了街道上。”

他停了下来。我能感觉到他在编辑某些部分，不让我知道。

“卡莱尔知道他父亲会做什么。尸体都会被烧掉——任何被怪物感染过的东西都要被毁掉。卡莱尔本能地想要保住自己的性命。当人们追随着那个魔鬼和他的受害者时，他爬着离开了那个小巷。他躲进了一个地窖，把自己埋在了一堆腐烂的马铃薯里过了三天。这实在是个奇迹，他居然能够保持安静，而不被发现。”

“然后，一切都结束了，而他终于意识到自己变成了什么。”

我不知道自己的表情泄露了什么，但他忽然打住了话头。

“你感觉怎么样？”他问道。

“我很好。”我向他保证道。虽然我踌躇着咬住了唇，他一定看到我眼中熊熊燃烧着的好奇心。

他笑了起来：“我希望你只有一点点问题要问我。”

“一点点。”

他笑得更开了，露出明亮的皓齿。他开始折返回去，重又穿过走廊，一路牵着我的手。“那么，来吧，”他鼓励道。“我会向你展示的。”

================================

"When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the
raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to
accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent,
and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true
vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by
night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and
legends, that was the way many lived.

"The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course" — his brief
laugh was darker now — "and waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters
exit into the street. Eventually one emerged."

His voice was very quiet; I strained to catch the words.

"He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call
out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran
through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast —
was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun
them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked.
He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he
turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third,
leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

He paused. I could sense he was editing something, keeping something from
me.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned —
anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted
instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while
the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried
himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to
keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

"It was over then, and he realized what he had become."

I'm not sure what my face was revealing, but he suddenly broke off.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I assured him. And, though I bit my lip in hesitation, he
must have seen the curiosity burning in my eyes.

He smiled. "I expect you have a few more questions for me."

"A few."

His smile widened over his brilliant teeth. He started back down the
hall, pulling me along by the hand. "Come on, then," he encouraged. "I'll
show you."

阿汤哥

第十六章 卡莱尔

他把我带回了那个他指点过的房间，卡莱尔的办公室。他只在房门外停顿了一瞬。

“进来。”卡莱尔的声音邀请道。

爱德华打开了门。这是一间有着高高的天花板，和朝西的长窗的屋子。墙面上也镶嵌着木嵌板，是一种颜色更深的木头——能看见的墙面都是这样的。而大部分的墙面都被高耸过我头顶的书架挡住了。这里面的藏书甚至比我在外头见到的一座图书馆的书还要多。

卡莱尔坐在一张巨大的桃心木书桌后，坐在一张皮椅上。他正把一张书签放进他手里的一册厚厚的书里。这间屋子是我想象过的一个大学校长的办公室的样子——只不过卡莱尔太年轻了，和这里不太相称。

“我能为你们做些什么？”他从座位上站起来，和蔼地问道。

“我想向贝拉展示一些我们的历史，”爱德华说道。“嗯，事实上，是你的历史。”

“我们并非有意要打扰您的。”我道歉道。

“没关系。你们打算从哪段听起？”

“御夫座。”爱德华答道，轻轻地把一只手放到我的肩膀上，让我转过身去面向我们刚刚走进来的那个门。每次他触碰我的时候，哪怕是再寻常不过的接触，我的心都会作出清晰可闻的反应。更何况还有卡莱尔在旁边，这就更令人尴尬了。
现在我们正对着的这面墙和别的墙都不一样。这面墙上没有书架，却挂满了各种尺寸的镶着相框的照片。有些是模糊生硬的彩色照片，另一些则是黯淡的黑白照片。我试图找出某种逻辑，某个这些收藏品所共有的主题，但在我匆忙的审视中，我没有任何发现。

爱德华把我拉到了最左边，让我站到了一张装裱在一个简朴的木框里的小小的方形油画前。这幅油画在众多尺寸更大，颜色更鲜亮的油画里并不显眼，它是用各种色调的深褐色画成的。它描绘了一个微缩的城市，那里到处是陡峭的斜屋顶，散落在各处的几座高塔露出窄窄的塔尖。一条宽广的河流填满了远景，河上横跨着一座桥梁，桥上布满了看上去像是小巧的教堂的建筑。

“十七世纪五十年代的伦敦。”爱德华说道。

===========================

16. CARLISLE


He led me back to the room that he'd pointed out as Carlisle's office. He
paused outside the door for an instant.

"Come in," Carlisle's voice invited.

Edward opened the door to a high-ceilinged room with tall, west-facing
windows. The walls were paneled again, in a darker wood — where they were
visible. Most of the wall space was taken up by towering bookshelves that
reached high above my head and held more books than I'd ever seen outside
a library.

Carlisle sat behind a huge mahogany desk in a leather chair. He was just
placing a bookmark in the pages of the thick volume he held. The room was
how I'd always imagined a college dean's would look — only Carlisle
looked too young to fit the part.

"What can I do for you?" he asked us pleasantly, rising from his seat.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," Edward said. "Well, your
history, actually."

"We didn't mean to disturb you," I apologized.

"Not at all. Where are you going to start?"

"The Waggoner," Edward replied, placing one hand lightly on my shoulder
and spinning me around to look back toward the door we'd just come
through. Every time he touched me, in even the most casual way, my heart
had an audible reaction. It was more embarrassing with Carlisle there.

The wall we faced now was different from the others. Instead of
bookshelves, this wall was crowded with framed pictures of all sizes,
some in vibrant colors, others dull monochromes. I searched for some
logic, some binding motif the collection had in common, but I found
nothing in my hasty examination.

Edward pulled me toward the far left side, standing me in front of a
small square oil painting in a plain wooden frame. This one did not stand
out among the bigger and brighter pieces; painted in varying tones of
sepia, it depicted a miniature city full of steeply slanted roofs, with
thin spires atop a few scattered towers. A wide river filled the
foreground, crossed by a bridge covered with structures that looked like
tiny cathedrals.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," Edward said.

阿汤哥

“我年少时的伦敦。”卡莱尔补充道，他站在离我们只有几英尺远的地方。我畏缩了一下，我根本没听到他走近的声音。爱德华紧握住我的手。

“你愿意讲这个故事吗？”爱德华问道。我稍微转过头，想看看卡莱尔的反应。

他对上了我的目光，笑了起来。“我很乐意。”他回答道。“但我确实有点赶时间。医院今天早上给我打了电话——斯诺医生请了一天病假。另外，你对这个故事的熟悉程度不亚于我。”他补充道，瞥了一眼爱德华。

这实在是个奇怪的难于理解的混合体——那位每天关心着镇上事务的医生正陷于关于他早年在十七世纪的伦敦的经历的讨论之中。

知道他是为了我才这样大声说话，也是件让人困扰的事。

卡莱尔再次向我温和地一笑，然后离开了房间。

我看着这张小小的关于卡莱尔的家乡的图画，看了许久。

“后来发生了什么？”我最终问道，抬头看着爱德华，他正注视着我。“在他意识到自己发生了什么事以后？”

他看回了那些油画上，而我看到了是什么样的图画吸引了他的兴趣。那是一张更大的风景画，用各种黯淡的秋色画成的——森林中的一片空荡荡的，晦暗的草地，远处是一座险峻的山峰。

“当他知道自己变成了什么以后，”爱德华安静地说道。“他十分厌恶这一点。他试图毁灭自己。但这不是件容易的事？”

“怎样？”我并不是有意要这样大声地说出来的，但这些话在震惊中冲口而出。

“他从很高的海拔上跳了下来。”爱德华告诉我，他的声音很冷淡。

“他试图把自己溺死在海里……但他刚刚经历了新生，非常年轻，也非常强壮。最惊人的是他居然能够忍耐住……不进食……在他还是新手的时候。那时那种本能会更为强烈，几乎可以征服一切。但他是如此地厌恶自己，他的信念是如此地坚强，居然想要饿死自己。”

===================

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added, from a few feet behind us. I
flinched; I hadn't heard him approach. Edward squeezed my hand.

"Will you tell the story?" Edward asked. I twisted a little to see
Carlisle's reaction.

He met my glance and smiled. "I would," he replied. "But I'm actually
running a bit late. The hospital called this morning — Dr. Snow is taking
a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do," he added,
grinning at Edward now.

It was a strange combination to absorb — the everyday concerns of the
town doctor stuck in the middle of a discussion of his early days in
seventeenth-century London.

It was also unsettling to know that he spoke aloud only for my benefit.

After another warm smile for me, Carlisle left the room.

I stared at the little picture of Carlisle's hometown for a long moment.

"What happened then?" I finally asked, staring up at Edward, who was
watching me. "When he realized what had happened to him?"

He glanced back to the paintings, and I looked to see which image caught
his interest now. It was a larger landscape in dull fall colors — an
empty, shadowed meadow in a forest, with a craggy peak in the distance.

"When he knew what he had become," Edward said quietly, "he rebelled
against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" I didn't mean to say it aloud, but the word broke through my shock.

"He jumped from great heights," Edward told me, his voice impassive. "He
tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life,
and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist… feeding… while
he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over
everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to
try to kill himself with starvation."