《Twilight 暮光之城Ⅰ——暮色》 （中英文对照·完结）

阿汤哥

他轻笑着：“你是个观-察-家，不是吗？”

我没有回答。我只是听着他的笑声，把它铭刻在记忆里。
“你上周末去狩猎了吗，和艾美特一起？”当我们再次安静下来的时候，我问道。

“是的。”他停顿了一秒，似乎在决定某件事该不该说。“我不想离开，但这很有必要。当我不那么渴的时候，待在你周围会更容易些。”

“为什么你不想离开呢？”

“这让我……不安……因为不在你身边。”他的眼睛很温柔，但有些紧张，它们几乎要让我的骨头都酥了。（。。。）“上周三我要你千万别掉进海里，或者别被绊倒，那不是在开玩笑。整个周末我都心浮气躁，担心着你。而在今晚发生的事以后，我很惊讶，你居然能毫发无损地平安度过整个周末。”他摇了摇头，似乎想起了什么。“好吧，并不是完全毫发无损。”

“什么？”

“你的手。”他提醒我。我低下头看自己的掌心，看见了手腕上那些快愈合了的擦伤。什么都逃不过他的眼睛。

“我摔倒了。”我叹了口气。

“这正是我想到的。”他的嘴角弯了起来。“我料想着，就你来说，情况本来可能会更糟——而这正是在我离开的整个时间里一直折磨着我的痛苦的根源。这真是非常漫长的。艾美特几乎被我烦死了。”他惨兮兮地向我笑着。

“三天？你不是昨天才回来吗？”

“不，我们星期天就回来了。”
===========================

He chuckled. "You are observant, aren't you?"

I didn't answer; I just listened to the sound of his laugh, committing it
to memory.

"Were you hunting this weekend, with Emmett?" I asked when it was quiet
again.

"Yes." He paused for a second, as if deciding whether or not to say
something. "I didn't want to leave, but it was necessary. It's a bit
easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."

"Why didn't you want to leave?"

"It makes me… anxious… to be away from you." His eyes were gentle but
intense, and they seemed to be making my bones turn soft. "I wasn't
joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over
last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. And
after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a
whole weekend unscathed." He shook his head, and then seemed to remember
something. "Well, not totally unscathed."

"What?"

"Your hands," he reminded me. I looked down at my palms, at the
almost-healed scrapes across the heels of my hands. His eyes missed
nothing.

"I fell," I sighed.

"That's what I thought." His lips curved up at the corners. "I suppose,
being you, it could have been much worse — and that possibility tormented
me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really
got on Emmett's nerves." He smiled ruefully at me.

"Three days? Didn't you just get back today?"

"No, we got back Sunday."

阿汤哥

“那为什么你们都不回学校呢？”我很沮丧，一想到因为他不在我所经受的那么多的失望的折磨，我就愤愤不平。

“嗯，你问过我阳光会不会伤害我，当然不会。但我不能走到太阳底下——至少，不能在任何会被别人看见的场合。”

“为什么？”
“我会找个时间向你展示的。”他保证道。

我思考了片刻。

“你应该打电话给我的。”我下定决心说道。

他很困惑。“但我知道你很安全。”

“可我不知道你在哪里。我——”我迟疑着，垂下了眼帘。

“什么？”他天鹅绒般的声音催促着。

“我不喜欢这样。见不到你。这也让我很不安。”这样大声地说出来让我羞红了脸。

他很安静。我惴惴不安地向他瞥了一眼，看见了他痛苦的神情。

“啊，”他低声呻吟道。“这是错误的。”

我不能理解他的反应。“我说了什么？”

“你还看不出来吗，贝拉？这完全是两码事：对我来说，是我让自己如此悲惨的；可对你而言，你不应该被牵涉得这么深的。”他移开了写满痛苦的目光，看着路面，他说得太快，我根本不明白他话里的意思。“我不想听到你有这种感觉。”他的声音很低，却很急迫。他的话刺痛了我。“这是错误的。这不安全。我很危险，贝拉——求你了，领会这一点。”
======================

"Then why weren't any of you in school?" I was frustrated, almost angry
as I thought of how much disappointment I had suffered because of his
absence.

"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't. But I can't go out
in the sunlight — at least, not where anyone can see."

"Why?"

"I'll show you sometime," he promised.

I thought about it for a moment.

"You might have called me," I decided.

He was puzzled. "But I knew you were safe."

"But I didn't know where you were. I —" I hesitated, dropping my eyes.

"What?" His velvety voice was compelling.

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious, too." I blushed
to be saying this out loud.

He was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive, and saw that his expression was
pained.

"Ah," he groaned quietly. "This is wrong."

I couldn't understand his response. "What did I say?"

"Don't you see, Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable,
but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved." He turned his
anguished eyes to the road, his words flowing almost too fast for me to
understand. "I don't want to hear that you feel that way." His voice was
low but urgent. His words cut me. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm
dangerous, Bella — please, grasp that."

阿汤哥

“不。”我非常艰难地努力不让自己看起来像个闹别扭的孩子。

“我是认真的。”他咆哮着。

“我也是。我告诉过你，你是什么根本无关紧要。太迟了。”

他的声音忽然响起来，低沉而刺耳。“永远不要这样说。”

我咬住唇，庆幸他不会知道这有多伤人。我看着车外的路面。现在我们一定快到了。他开得太快了。

“你在想什么？”他问道，声音依然很阴冷。我只是摇摇头，不确定自己能否说得出口。我能感觉到他正凝视着我的脸，但我只是看着前方。

“你在哭吗？”他听起来吓坏了。可我并没有感觉到眼里的液体盈出眼眶。我飞快地用手擦了一下脸颊，确实，叛徒眼泪正在那里，它们出卖了我。

“没有。”我说道，但我的声音嘶哑着。

我看见他迟疑着把右手伸向我，但他停住了，然后慢慢地把手放回了方向盘上。

“我很抱歉。”他的声音被懊悔灼烧着。我知道，他不只是在为刺痛了我的那些话道歉。

黑暗在沉默中从我们中间飞掠而过。

“和我说说话。”又过了一分钟，他要求道。我能听出来，他竭力让自己的语气更轻柔些。

“说什么？”

“今天晚上，在我转过拐角以前，你在想什么？我不明白你的表情——你看上去并不那么害怕，看起来就像是在聚精会神地想着某件事。”

========================
"No." I tried very hard not to look like a sulky child.

"I'm serious," he growled.

"So am I. I told you, it doesn't matter what you are. It's too late."

His voice whipped out, low and harsh. "Never say that."

I bit my lip and was glad he couldn't know how much that hurt. I stared
out at the road. We must be close now. He was driving much too fast.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice still raw. I just shook my
head, not sure if I could speak. I could feel his gaze on my face, but I
kept my eyes forward.

"Are you crying?" He sounded appalled. I hadn't realized the moisture in
my eyes had brimmed over. I quickly rubbed my hand across my cheek, and
sure enough, traitor tears were there, betraying me.

"No," I said, but my voice cracked.

I saw him reach toward me hesitantly with his right hand, but then he
stopped and placed it slowly back on the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry." His voice burned with regret. I knew he wasn't just
apologizing for the words that had upset me.

The darkness slipped by us in silence.

"Tell me something," he asked after another minute, and I could hear him
struggle to use a lighter tone.

"Yes?"

"What were you thinking tonight, just before I came around the corner? I
couldn't understand your expression — you didn't look that scared, you
looked like you were concentrating very hard on something."

阿汤哥

“我在努力回想着要怎样挫败攻击我的人——你知道，防身术。我本来打算猛击他的鼻子，把它打进他的脑袋里的。”我想起了那个黑发男人，不由得一阵厌恶。

“你打算反抗他们？”这让他不安起来。“你没想过逃跑吗？”

“我跑步的时候老是摔倒。”我坦白道。

“那为什么不大声求救呢？”

“我正要那样做。”

他摇了摇头。“你是对的——我确实是在和命运抗争，努力让你活下来。”

我叹了口气。我们开始减速了，穿过了福克斯的边界。总共才花了不到二十分钟的时间。

“我明天能见到你吗？”我请求道。

“能——我也有一篇论文到期要交。”他微笑着。“午餐的时候我会给你留个座位的。”

这太愚蠢了。在我们经历了今晚的每一件事以后，这个小小的承诺居然能让我如此忐忑不安，让我说不出话来。

我们开到了查理的房子前。灯亮着，我的卡车还在老地方，一切完全正常。就好像从梦里醒来一样。他把车停下来，但我没动。

“你保证明天在那里？”

“我保证。”

我思索了片刻，然后点了点头。我把夹克脱下来，吸了最后一口香气。

==============================

"I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker — you know,
self-defense. I was going to smash his nose into his brain." I thought of
the dark-haired man with a surge of hate.

"You were going to fight them?" This upset him. "Didn't you think about
running?"

"I fall down a lot when I run," I admitted.

"What about screaming for help?"

"I was getting to that part."

He shook his head. "You were right — I'm definitely fighting fate trying
to keep you alive."

I sighed. We were slowing, passing into the boundaries of Forks. It had
taken less than twenty minutes.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I demanded.

"Yes — I have a ** due, too." He smiled. "I'll save you a seat at
lunch."

It was silly, after everything we'd been through tonight, how that little
promise sent flutters through my stomach, and made me unable to speak.

We were in front of Charlie's house. The lights were on, my truck in its
place, everything utterly normal. It was like waking from a dream. He
stopped the car, but I didn't move.

"Do you promise to be there tomorrow?"

"I promise."

I considered that for a moment, then nodded. I pulled his jacket off,
taking one last whiff.

阿汤哥

“你可以留着它——你明天可没有夹克可穿。”他提醒我。

我把它递还给他。“我可不想被迫向查理解释。”

“哦，好吧。”他咧嘴一笑。

我迟疑着，把手放到门柄上，努力拖延着动作。

“贝拉？”他用一种不同寻常的语气问道——严肃，但犹豫。

“嗯？”我太过热切地回过头去看着他。

“你能向我保证一件事吗？”

“好的。”我刚说完，立刻为自己这个太过绝对的同意后悔了。假设他要我远离他呢？我没法信守那样的承诺。

“别再独自一人走到森林里去。”
我完全摸不着头脑，困惑地看着他：“为什么？”

他皱起眉，当他的目光越过我看向窗外时，眼神紧绷着。

“在那里我不总是最危险的生物。让我们离它远远的。”

他声音里的阴郁让我微微颤抖着，但我还是很宽慰。至少，这是个容易遵守的承诺。“如你所愿。”

“我们明天见。”他叹了口气。我知道他想让我现在离开。

“那么，明天见。”我不情愿地打开门。
=========================

"You can keep it — you don't have a jacket for tomorrow," he reminded me.

I handed it back to him. "I don't want to have to explain to Charlie."

"Oh, right." He grinned.

I hesitated, my hand on the door handle, trying to prolong the moment.

"Bella?" he asked in a different tone — serious, but hesitant.

"Yes?" I turned back to him too eagerly.

"Will you promise me something?"

"Yes," I said, and instantly regretted my unconditional agreement. What
if he asked me to stay away from him? I couldn't keep that promise.

"Don't go into the woods alone."

I stared at him in blank confusion. "Why?"

He frowned, and his eyes were tight as he stared past me out the window.

"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let's leave it at
that."

I shuddered slightly at the sudden bleakness in his voice, but I was
relieved. This, at least, was an easy promise to honor. "Whatever you
say."

"I'll see you tomorrow," he sighed, and I knew he wanted me to leave now.

"Tomorrow, then." I opened the door unwillingly.

阿汤哥

“贝拉。”我回过头来，他向我侧过身子来，他苍白绝伦的面孔离我只有几英寸远。我的心跳停拍了。

“祝你睡得好。”他说着。他的呼吸轻拂着我的脸，让我一阵晕眩。和沾染在他的夹克上的味道一样，一阵甜腻的香气，却更为浓郁。我眨了眨眼，完全陷入了恍惚中。他已经退回去了。

我一直没法挪动步子，直到我的大脑恢复运作为止。我不得不撑着门框，才笨拙地走下了车。我想我听到了他的轻笑声，但这声音太小了，我不能肯定。

他一直等在那里，直到我走到前门那里，被它绊了一下。然后，我听到了他的引擎安静地加速的声音。我转过身去，看见那辆银色的车消失在转角处。我这才意识，现在很冷。

我机械地掏出钥匙，打开门，走进屋里。

查理从起居室那边喊道：“贝拉？”

“是的，爸爸，是我。”我走进去见他。他正在看篮球赛。

“你回来得很早。”

“是吗？”我很惊讶。

“还不到八点呢，”他告诉我。“你们几个女孩子玩得开心吗？”

“是的——太开心了。”我的脑子高速运转着，试图回想起我原本计划的女孩之夜的所有内容。“她们俩都找到了裙子。”

“你还好吧？”

“我只是有点累，我走了很多路。”
=========================

"Bella?" I turned and he was leaning toward me, his pale, glorious face
just inches from mine. My heart stopped beating.

"Sleep well," he said. His breath blew in my face, stunning me. It was
the same exquisite scent that clung to his jacket, but in a more
concentrated form. I blinked, thoroughly dazed. He leaned away.

I was unable to move until my brain had somewhat unscrambled itself. Then
I stepped out of the car awkwardly, having to use the frame for support.
I thought I heard him chuckle, but the sound was too quiet for me to be
certain.

He waited till I had stumbled to the front door, and then I heard his
engine quietly rev. I turned to watch the silver car disappear around the
corner. I realized it was very cold.

I reached for the key mechanically, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

Charlie called from the living room. "Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad, it's me." I walked in to see him. He was watching a baseball
game.

"You're home early."

"Am I?" I was surprised.

"It's not even eight yet," he told me. "Did you girls have fun?"

"Yeah — it was lots of fun." My head was spinning as I tried to remember
all the way back to the girls' night out I had planned. "They both found
dresses."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm just tired. I did a lot of walking."

阿汤哥

“好吧，也许你应该上去躺着。”他听起来有些担心。我想知道我的脸看起来怎么样。

“我想先给杰西卡打个电话。”

“你刚才不是还跟她在一起吗？”他惊讶地问道。

“是的——但我把我的夹克落在她车里了。我想让她明天带给我。”

“好吧，但先让她有机会回到家。”

“好的。”我同意了。

我走进厨房，精疲力竭地坐进一张椅子里。现在我真的觉得头晕目眩起来。我想知道是不是直到现在我才开始震惊得要休克过去。振作起来，我告诉自己。

电话忽然响了起来，把我吓了一跳。我把听筒从座机上拉下来。

“你好？”我屏住呼吸，问道。

“贝拉？”

“嘿，杰西，我正要打电话给你。”

“你到家了？”她的声音听起来很宽慰……也很惊讶。

“是的。我把夹克落在你车上了——你明天能带给我吗？”

“当然，但要告诉我发生了什么事！”她要求道。

============================

"Well, maybe you should go lie down." He sounded concerned. I wondered
what my face looked like.

"I'm just going to call Jessica first."

"Weren't you just with her?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes — but I left my jacket in her car. I want to make sure she brings it
tomorrow."

"Well, give her a chance to get home first."

"Right," I agreed.

I went to the kitchen and fell, exhausted, into a chair. I was really
feeling dizzy now. I wondered if I was going to go into shock after all.
Get a grip, I told myself.

The phone rang suddenly, startling me. I yanked it off the hook.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jess, I was just going to call you."

"You made it home?" Her voice was relieved… and surprised.

"Yes. I left my jacket in your car — could you bring it to me tomorrow?"

"Sure. But tell me what happened!" she demanded.

阿汤哥

“呃，明天吧——三角函数课上，好吗？”

她立刻领会过来。“哦，你爸在那里？”

“是的，没错。”

“好的，我明天拿给你，那么，再见！”我能听出她声音里的急不可耐。

“再见，杰西。”
我慢慢地走上楼，一种沉重的麻木感笼罩着我的头脑。我把睡觉前的准备工作流程过了一遍，却完全没有注意到自己在做什么。直到我淋浴的时候——水太烫了，灼痛了我的肌肤——我才意识到自己快冻僵了。我剧烈地颤抖了好几分钟，直到喷洒下来的水雾最终让我紧绷的肌肉放松下来。而后我站在喷头下，累得根本不想动，直到热水快要用完为止。

我跌跌绊绊地走出来，安心地用浴巾把自己包裹起来，试图把热水带来的热度保留住，这样那种痛苦的颤抖就不会再发生了。我飞快地穿上睡衣，钻到被子底下，蜷缩成球状，紧紧地抱住自己，好让自己暖和些。一阵轻微的颤栗传遍了我的全身。

我的大脑依然让人头晕眼花地旋转着，充斥着我无法理解的画面，还有一些我挣扎着不去看的画面。一开始根本什么也看不清，但当我渐渐失去意识地时候，几张特定的画面清晰起来。

有三件事我非常肯定。第一，爱德华是个吸血鬼。第二，他的某一部分——我不知道这一部分能起的效力有多大——在渴望着我的鲜血。第三，我毫无保留，无可救药地爱上了他。

===============================

"Um, tomorrow — in Trig, okay?"

She caught on quickly. "Oh, is your dad there?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow, then. Bye!" I could hear the impatience
in her voice.

"Bye, Jess."

I walked up the stairs slowly, a heavy stupor clouding my mind. I went
through the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention
to what I was doing. It wasn't until I was in the shower — the water too
hot, burning my skin — that I realized I was freezing. I shuddered
violently for several minutes before the steaming spray could finally
relax my rigid muscles. Then I stood in the shower, too tired to move,
until the hot water began to run out.

I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the
heat from the water in so the aching shivers wouldn't return. I dressed
for bed swiftly and climbed under my quilt, curling into a ball, hugging
myself to keep warm. A few small shudders trembled through me.

My mind still swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't understand, and
some I fought to repress. Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell
gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became evident.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a
vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn't know how potent
that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was
unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

阿汤哥

我四本都買了，哈哈！

阿汤哥

第十章 审问

早上，我的某一部分非常肯定昨晚的一切都只是一场梦，而与之辩驳实在是件非常艰难的事。逻辑并不站在我这边，或者说，常识。我抱定了自己绝对想象不出来的那个部分——比方说他的香味。我相当确定，我永远都不可能自己梦到这种事的。


窗外雾蒙蒙，阴沉沉的，实在是好极了。他今天可没有理由不来学校了。我想起来自己的夹克不在，便穿上了层层叠叠的厚衣服。这进一步证实了我的记忆是真实的。

当我下楼的时候，查理也已经走了——我的动作比我意识到的还慢。我三口就咽下了一个格兰诺拉燕麦棒，直接用一盒牛奶把它送下去，然后匆忙地奔出门外。这场雨很有希望能拖延到我找到杰西卡以后才下。

这雾大得不可思议：空气里几乎浸透了浓雾，一片模糊。雾气侵袭着我暴露在空气中的脸部和脖子的肌肤，冰冷刺骨。我迫不及待地想要钻进车里取暖。这雾太浓了，当我离车道只有几英尺远的时候，我才注意到那里有一辆银色的车。我的心砰砰直响，如小鹿乱撞，然后很快又找回了自己的节奏。

我没看见他是从哪里冒出来的，但忽然间他就在那里了，为我拉开车门。

“今天你愿意搭我的车吗？”他问道，被我的表情逗乐了。他又一次出其不意地抓到了我。他的声音里充满了不确定。他确实给了我一个选择的机会——我完全可以拒绝，而且他的一部分希望我这样做。这是一种徒劳的希望。

“是的，谢谢。”我说道，试图让自己的声音保持镇静。当我钻进温暖的车里时，我注意到他那件棕褐色的夹克正搭在乘客座的靠背上。我身后的门被关上了，然后，在短得几乎不可能的时间里，他坐到了我旁边，发动了车子。

“我带了这件夹克给你，我不希望你生病或者怎么样。”他的声音警惕着。我注意到他自己并没有穿着夹克，只穿了一件浅灰色的V领长袖恤衫。和上次一样，布料紧紧地贴着他完美的，肌肉结实的胸膛。他的脸为我能把视线从他身体上移开作出了巨大贡献。

=============================

10. INTERROGATIONS


It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was
sure last night was a dream. Logic wasn't on my side, or common sense. I
clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined — like his smell. I was sure
I could never have dreamed that up on my own.

It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect. He had no
reason not to be in school today. I dressed in my heavy clothes,
remembering I didn't have a jacket. Further proof that my memory was real.

When I got downstairs, Charlie was gone again — I was running later than
I'd realized. I swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chased it down
with milk straight from the carton, and then hurried out the door.
Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jessica.

It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was
ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck. I
couldn't wait to get the heat going in my truck. It was such a thick fog
that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car
in it: a silver car. My heart thudded, stuttered, and then picked up
again in double time.

I didn't see where he came from, but suddenly he was there, pulling the
door open for me.

"Do you want to ride with me today?" he asked, amused by my expression as
he caught me by surprise yet again. There was uncertainty in his voice.
He was really giving me a choice — I was free to refuse, and part of him
hoped for that. It was a vain hope.

"Yes, thank you," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. As I stepped into
the warm car, I noticed his tan jacket was slung over the headrest of the
passenger seat. The door closed behind me, and, sooner than should be
possible, he was sitting next to me, starting the car.

"I brought the jacket for you. I didn't want you to get sick or
something." His voice was guarded. I noticed that he wore no jacket
himself, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with long sleeves. Again,
the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal
tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body.

阿汤哥

“我没那么柔弱。”我说道，但还是把那件夹克拉到了膝上，把胳膊伸进对我来说太长的袖子里，好奇地想要知道那股香味是不是真的和我记忆中的一样美好。有过之而无不及。

“真的？”他反驳的声音太低了，我不能确定他是不是说给我听的。

我们开着车穿过覆满浓雾的街道，但总是开得太快，至少，让我感到很不自在。昨天晚上，所有的隔阂都消失了……几乎是全部。我不知道今天我们还能不能这样坦诚相待。这个想法让我舌头打结。我等着他先开口。

他转过头来，向我坏笑着。“怎么，今天没有二十个问题了吗？”

“我的问题让你困扰了吗？”我如释重负地问道。

“没有你的反应带来的多。”他看上去像是在开玩笑，但我不敢肯定。

我皱起眉：“我的反应有那么糟吗？”

“没有。这才是问题所在。你对待每件事都是那么冷淡——这太不寻常了。这让我很想知道你究竟在想些什么。”

“我通常都会告诉你我在想些什么。”

“你编辑过了。”他控诉道。

“没改动多少。”

“足够让我发疯了。”

===================

"I'm not quite that delicate," I said, but I pulled the jacket onto my
lap, pushing my arms through the too-long sleeves, curious to see if the
scent could possibly be as good as I remembered. It was better.

"Aren't you?" he contradicted in a voice so low I wasn't sure if he meant
for me to hear.

We drove through the fog-shrouded streets, always too fast, feeling
awkward. I was, at least. Last night all the walls were down… almost all.

I didn't know if we were still being as candid today. It left me
tongue-tied. I waited for him to speak.

He turned to smirk at me. "What, no twenty questions today?"

"Do my questions bother you?" I asked, relieved.

"Not as much as your reactions do." He looked like he was joking, but I
couldn't be sure.

I frowned. "Do I react badly?"

"No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly — it's unnatural.
It makes me wonder what you're really thinking."

"I always tell you what I'm really thinking."

"You edit," he accused.

"Not very much."

"Enough to drive me insane."

阿汤哥

“你不会想要听到的。”我低声说道，几近耳语。但话一说出口，我就后悔了。我声音里的痛苦非常地微弱，我只能希望他没有注意到。

他没有回答。我想知道我是不是把气氛给毁了。当我们开进学校停车场的时候，他的表情让人捉摸不透。我后知后觉地想起来了。

“你的家人在哪里？”我问道——不仅仅是因为和他独处而快乐，更多的是因为想起来他的车通常都是满的。

“他们坐罗莎莉的车。”他耸耸肩，把车停到了一辆闪闪发光的，车篷敞开着的火红色敞篷车旁。“太浮夸了，不是吗？”
“呃，哇噢，”我喘息着说。“既然她有这辆车，为什么她还要坐你的车呢？”

“就像我说的，这样太浮夸了。我们努力保持低调。”

“你没成功。”我们一起走出车外时，我大笑着摇了摇头。我不会迟到了。他疯狂的驾驶让我提前了不少时间到学校。“如果这样更引人注目的话，为什么今天罗莎莉还要开车呢？”

“你没注意到吗？现在我把所有的规则都打破了。”他和我在车前碰头，当我们走进校园里的时候，他一直紧挨着我。我很想把这段小小的距离消灭掉，想要伸出手触碰他，但我很怕他不喜欢我这样做。

“为什么你们的车都是那样的呢？”我大声地表达了自己的疑问。“如果你们想要保持隐私的话？”

“一个嗜好。”他顽皮地笑着，承认道。“我们都喜欢开快车。”

“有道理。”我低声呢喃道。

自助餐厅的屋顶伸出的屋檐下，杰西卡在等待着。她的眼球几乎要掉出眼眶来了。在她手臂上的——上帝保佑她——是我的夹克。

======================

"You don't want to hear it," I mumbled, almost whispered. As soon as the
words were out, I regretted them. The pain in my voice was very faint; I
could only hope he hadn't noticed it.

He didn't respond, and I wondered if I had ruined the mood. His face was
unreadable as we drove into the school parking lot. Something occurred to
me belatedly.

"Where's the rest of your family?" I asked — more than glad to be alone
with him, but remembering that his car was usually full.

"They took Rosalie's car." He shrugged as he parked next to a glossy red
convertible with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Um, wow," I breathed. "If she has that, why does she ride with you?"

"Like I said, it's ostentatious. We try to blend in."

"You don't succeed." I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the
car. I wasn't late anymore; his lunatic driving had gotten me to school
in plenty of time. "So why did Rosalie drive today if it's more
conspicuous?"

"Hadn't you noticed? I'm breaking all the rules now." He met me at the
front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus.
I wanted to close that little distance, to reach out and touch him, but I
was afraid he wouldn't like me to.

"Why do you have cars like that at all?" I wondered aloud. "If you're
looking for privacy?"

"An indulgence," he admitted with an impish smile. "We all like to drive
fast."

"Figures," I muttered under my breath.

Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof's overhang, Jessica was waiting,
her eyes about to bug out of their sockets. Over her arm, bless her, was
my jacket.

"Hey, Jessica," I said when we were a few feet away. "Thanks for
remembering." She handed me my jacket without speaking.

阿汤哥

“嗨，杰西卡。”当我们走到几英尺外的时候，我说道。“谢谢你还记得。”她把夹克递给我，什么也没说。

“早上好，杰西卡。”爱德华礼貌地说。他的声音是如此地让人难以抗拒，但这真的不是他的错。也许他的双眸要负上一点责任。

“唔……嗨。”她把那双大眼睛移向我，试图找回混乱的思绪。“我猜，我们三角函数课上见。”她意味深长地看了我一眼，我抑制住了一声叹息。我到底要告诉她什么呢？

“好的，待会儿见。”

她走开了，但途中停顿了两次，从肩膀上偷瞄我们。

“你准备告诉她什么？”爱德华低声说道。

“嘿，我以为你不能读我的心！”我嘘声说着。

“我确实不能。”他惊愕地说。然后，心领神会的神情点亮了他的眼睛。“但是，我能读她的心——她正等着在课堂上伏击你呢。”

我呻吟了一声，把他的夹克拉下来，递给他，穿上了我自己的夹克。他把它搭在了手臂上。

“那么，你打算告诉她什么？”

“给点提示？”我恳求道。“她想知道什么？”

他摇了摇头，坏心地咧嘴一笑：“这不公平。”

“不，你不分享你知道的内容——那才叫不公平。”

============================

"Good morning, Jessica," Edward said politely. It wasn't really his fault
that his voice was so irresistible. Or what his eyes were capable of.

"Er… hi." She shifted her wide eyes to me, trying to gather her jumbled
thoughts. "I guess I'll see you in Trig." She gave me a meaningful look,
and I suppressed a sigh. What on earth was I going to tell her?

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

She walked away, pausing twice to peek back over her shoulder at us.

"What are you going to tell her?" Edward murmured.

"Hey, I thought you couldn't read my mind!" I hissed.

"I can't," he said, startled. Then understanding brightened his eyes.
"However, I can read hers — she'll be waiting to ambush you in class."

I groaned as I pulled off his jacket and handed it to him, replacing it
with my own. He folded it over his arm.

"So what are you going to tell her?"

"A little help?" I pleaded. "What does she want to know?"

He shook his head, grinning wickedly. "That's not fair."

"No, you not sharing what you know — now that's not fair."

阿汤哥

我们一边走，他一边仔细思考着。我们停在了我要上第一堂课的教室外。

“她想知道我们是不是在偷偷地约合。还有她想知道你对我的感觉。”他最终说道。

“呀。那我该怎么说？”我努力让自己的表情显得非常无辜。人们从我们身旁走过去上课，也许在盯着我们看，但我几乎没有注意到他们。

“呃。”他停下来，抓住一缕迷路的，从我脖子上的发卷里逃离出来的头发，把它缠绕回原处。我的心过度亢奋地砰砰乱跳。“我料想，你最好对第一个问题说是……如果你不介意的话——这比任何其他解释都要容易得多。”

“我不介意。”我用微弱的声音说道。

“至于另一个问题……嗯，我会自己去听答案的。”他的一侧嘴角微微扬起，露出我最喜欢那个不对称的撇嘴坏笑。我来不及稳住自己的呼吸，对那个备注作出回应。他转身走开了。

“我们午餐时见。”他从肩膀上向我喊道。三个人正要走进门的人停下来盯着我看。
我冲进教室，又羞又恼。他这个卑鄙小人。现在我更担心自己要跟杰西卡说什么了，我愤怒地把包砰地一声扔在座位上。

“早上好，贝拉。”迈克坐在我旁边的位置上招呼道。我抬起头，看见了他脸上古怪，甚至有些讨好的神情。“天使港怎么样？”

“这……”这可没办法如实汇报。“棒极了。”虽然我的情况不完全是这样。“杰西卡买了一条非常可爱的裙子。”

“她有谈到周一晚上的事吗？”他问道，他的眼睛闪闪发亮。话题居然转到了这上面，我不由得笑了起来。

========================

He deliberated for a moment as we walked. We stopped outside the door to
my first class.

"She wants to know if we're secretly dating. And she wants to know how
you feel about me," he finally said.

"Yikes. What should I say?" I tried to keep my expression very innocent.
People were passing us on their way to class, probably staring, but I was
barely aware of them.

"Hmmm." He paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the
twist on my neck and wound it back into place. My heart spluttered
hyperactively. "I suppose you could say yes to the first… if you don't
mind — it's easier than any other explanation."

"I don't mind," I said in a faint voice.

"And as for her other question… well, I'll be listening to hear the
answer to that one myself." One side of his mouth pulled up into my
favorite uneven smile. I couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond
to that remark. He turned and walked away.

"I'll see you at lunch," he called over his shoulder. Three people
walking in the door stopped to stare at me.

I hurried into class, flushed and irritated. He was such a cheater. Now I
was even more worried about what I was going to say to Jessica. I sat in
my usual seat, slamming my bag down in aggravation.

"Morning, Bella," Mike said from the seat next to me. I looked up to see
an odd, almost resigned look on his face. "How was Port Angeles?"

"It was…" There was no honest way to sum it up. "Great," I finished
lamely. "Jessica got a really cute dress."

"Did she say anything about Monday night?" he asked, his eyes
brightening. I smiled at the turn the conversation had taken.

阿汤哥

“她说她过得非常愉快。”我让他放心。

“她真的这样说？”他急切地问道。

“千真万确。”

马森老师让全班都听他说话，要我们把论文交上去。英语课和gov_erment课都在一片模糊中过去了，我一直在担心着要怎么跟杰西卡解释，同时为爱德华是否真的会以杰西的思想为媒介听到我说的话而焦虑不安。他的小小天赋是多么的让人不便啊——当它不是用来救我的命的时候。

第二堂课结束的时候，雾已经散得差不多了，但天空依然阴沉沉的，云层低低地压在天边。我微笑地看着天空。（。。。到这里贝拉已经被洗脑得差不多了。。。呜呼哀哉。。）

当然，爱德华是对的。当我走进三角函数教室的时候，杰西卡正坐在最后一排，兴奋得几乎要从座位上跳起来了。我勉强走过去坐到她旁边，努力说服自己该来的总是要来的，不如让它早些了结。（横竖是死，早死早超生）

“告诉我每件事！”我还没坐下来，她就命令道。

“你想知道什么？”我不想正面回答她。

“昨晚发生了什么事？”

“他带我去吃晚餐，然后他开车送我回家。”

她瞪着我，板起的脸上写满了怀疑。“你怎么会那么快到家呢？”

“他开起车来像个疯子。那太吓人了。”我希望他能听到这句话。

“那像是个约会——你告诉他在那里和你见面吗？”

=======================

"She said she had a really good time," I assured him.

"She did?" he said eagerly.

"Most definitely."

Mr. Mason called the class to order then, asking us to turn in our
**s. English and then Government passed in a blur, while I worried
about how to explain things to Jessica and agonized over whether Edward
would really be listening to what I said through the medium of Jess's
thoughts. How very inconvenient his little talent could be — when it

wasn't saving my life.

The fog had almost dissolved by the end of the second hour, but the day
was still dark with low, oppressing clouds. I smiled up at the sky.

Edward was right, of course. When I walked into Trig Jessica was sitting
in the back row, nearly bouncing off her seat in agitation. I reluctantly
went to sit by her, trying to convince myself it would be better to get
it over with as soon as possible.

"Tell me everything!" she commanded before I was in the seat.

"What do you want to know?" I hedged.

"What happened last night?"

"He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home."

She glared at me, her expression stiff with skepticism. "How did you get
home so fast?"

"He drives like a maniac. It was terrifying." I hoped he heard that.

"Was it like a date — did you tell him to meet you there?"